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[FONT='Georgia','serif']Count Dracula is out on the pull in Glasgow. He spends the night drinking Bloody Marys in various pubs and clubs and biting unsuspecting women's necks.

He then starts heading for home, along Argyle Street, sometime before dawn.

Suddenly, he's hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees nothing.

He looks down and sees a small sausage roll. "Mmmm," he thinks, "what's going on here?"

A few yards further on and... BANG. Smacked on the back of the head again! He turns round as quick as he can; again he sees nothing.

Again he looks down and there's a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground in front of him. "How odd," he thinks.

A few more yards further along the street and CRASH. Smacked on the back of the head yet again! He spins round as quick as he can; again, absolutely nothing.

He's getting really angry now. Again he looks down on the pavement and there's a small piece of pizza lying on the ground in front of him.

He stands and peers into the darkness of the night. He sees nothing.

He walks a few yards further along and then gets a tap on the shoulder.

With a swirl of his cape and a cloud of smoke, he turns round as fast as he can.

He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of cheese and a pickled silverskin onion.

On the ground, dying, he looks up and sees a young female. With his dying breath, he gasps "Who the hell are you?"



Wait for it...



Are you ready?



Brace yourself...

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[FONT='Georgia','serif']"BUFFET, the vampire slayer."[/font]