appologies to those north of the border (from England that is) ahead of time.
Jock was out working the field when a barnstormer landed.
"I'll give you an airplane ride for £50," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride but if you get scared it'll be £100."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Got to hand it to you, for country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"
or how about this one:
Grampian Police are investigating a cruel theft that took place over the weekend.
A callous local person is suspected in theft of the annual charity "pile of pennies" collection from The Bells on Union Street.
But Grampian Police say they have strong leads to follow.
Apparently BOTH of the pennies are marked.
or this B)
Sandy, a weel kent chiel (well known fellow) from Peterhead dies and his poor old widow decides to place an obituary in the Press & Journal.
The man at the newspaper desk asks how much money she has to whch she replies "Five poun' (£5)"
The man says "You won't get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok."
So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads "Sandy Reid, fae Peterheid, deid."
He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper back over the counter again.
The man then reads "Sandy Reid, fae Peterheid, deid. Ford Escort for sale."
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