JFK Ground contoller

[David Morton]

Sounds as though this controller is running at max rpm.
http://home.online.no/~chainly/JFKGround.mp3
Normally Gnd at JFK was immensely amusing with attitude.....

 

[Ron Earp]

That dude has had it!

 

[David Morton]

There is a vast site called PPrune (Professional Pilots Rumour Network) PPRuNe Forums - Professional Pilots Rumour Network with loads of avaition and other funnies under "Jet Blast" (a bit like our Paddock). Another is Pilotpointer PilotPointer.com >> Pilot specific interest server. Easy access to a multitude of aviation related topics - news weather jobs entertainment search databases links and there they have "Aviation Humour". Some real gems on both.

such as :
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

 

[Gary Kadrmas]

David,

You should start a Blonde Joke Thread. Your first entry is funny.

Before she was a Stewardess, did she work for Acme Scenic and Display in sales?

 

[David Morton]

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".

 

[David Morton]

Blonde Jokes epper:
:lol:
blonde jokes in abundance

 

[Gary Kadrmas]

David,

Your on a roll..........................rockonsmile

 

[David Morton]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."

 

[JCoop]

JFK controllers are a hoot. I'm friendly with some of them as they usually train at Republic Airport on Long Island, my home field. Coming home from the west, one has to get clearance to overfly JFK or duck and trace the beach south of it below 500 ft. Everytime I'd check in, they would clear me to land at Republic, much to the chagrin of the Republic tower controllers working sequence.

One time they said they'd give me a touch & go at JFK as long as I did it at 2:30AM. (General aviation landings at JFK require reservations and the fee was $175 at the time)

Controller banter is great. They are the most comforting sound in the plane when you're flying single pilot IFR in the middle of winter with a little ice on the wings.

 

[Scott Calabro]

No Ray, the most comforting sound in that situation is when the MLG tires hit the runway !