Jokes anyone? -

[Dimi]

In keeping with the educational theme of this thread I am enclosing a photo of one of the worlds largest dump trucks used in the mining industry.

It has a truly enormous set of wheels and the headlights are not bad either.

Dimi

[Dimi]

Obviously Ferrari will try anything to stay ahead of the competition.

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by Malcolm

That is very classical architecture.....

It is indeed Malcolm, but if you look closely I think you can see at least one crack appearing in the structure. I think it would be wise to get an engineer to inspect it more closely. Perhaps Fran or JacMac might volunteer.

[Bill Bayard]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; Growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a
rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . ... having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having real teeth.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is .. not peeing in your pants

[Jac Mac]

Originally Posted by Pete

It is indeed Malcolm, but if you look closely I think you can see at least one crack appearing in the structure. I think it would be wise to get an engineer to inspect it more closely. Perhaps Fran or JacMac might volunteer.

Thanks for the opportunity Pete, an obvious sign of why you are SOOO successful in the commercial world, you have the gift of delegation down to a fine art!
Fortunately due to the wonders of the PC world I am able to check the crack from a safe distance & determine that it is probably a design flaw that has been further damaged by mankind in their attempts to investigate said flaw! Sad to say , but in this modern world there are many opportunists out there who exploit situations like this for some personal gain or gratification with no intention of fixing the initial problem!

Jac Mac

[Paul Thompson 'Hooligan']

Well done to all contributors -

A quick visit to this thread can brighten-up the darkest of days...

Keep em coming....

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by jac mac

Thanks for the opportunity Pete, an obvious sign of why you are SOOO successful in the commercial world, you have the gift of delegation down to a fine art!
Fortunately due to the wonders of the PC world I am able to check the crack from a safe distance & determine that it is probably a design flaw that has been further damaged by mankind in their attempts to investigate said flaw! Sad to say , but in this modern world there are many opportunists out there who exploit situations like this for some personal gain or gratification with no intention of fixing the initial problem!

Jac Mac

Thanks for the kind words Jac, however you are much more sophisticated than I, being able to ascertain the amount of damage from a distance.
I would want a much closer inspection including an internal examination with a suitable instrument to ascertain the depth and width of the damage and whether repair is possible.
I do agree with you that it appears that amateurs with far less experience than yourself, may have caused the initial damage and caused the crack to widen, in their far too hasty attempts to gain notoriety and kudos among their peers by being the first to fully examine the flaw.
Perhaps if Dimi would post photos of similar design flaws we could reach a more considered conclusion.

[Pete.]

Are you a Cowboy or.......?

[Doug Sainlar]

Originally Posted by jac mac

Fortunately due to the wonders of the PC world I am able to check the crack from a safe distance & determine that it is probably a design flaw that has been further damaged by mankind in their attempts to investigate said flaw! Sad to say , but in this modern world there are many opportunists out there who exploit situations like this for some personal gain or gratification with no intention of fixing the initial problem!
Jac Mac

There is always a certain amount of probing involved in any investigation. It seems to me that this issue certainly deserves further attention!

Doug

[Jac Mac]

Originally Posted by YerDugliness

There is always a certain amount of probing involved in any investigation. It seems to me that this issue certainly deserves further attention!

Doug

I agree Doug,as per Petes suggestion I was hopeful that Fran would jump in as he may already have frequented the area of the structure concerned on some occasion and be able to give us a 'hands on' report on the matter from his perspective. I believe that he would have access to equipment like borescopes with camera link's etc which would enable us to be privy to his investigations and guide him as he further investigates the problem and advise him how to deal with any complication's that may arise. While it would appear that there are few if any barriers to prevent close examination of the area of concern, one never knows what sort of counter measures may be in place to prevent unwanted intrusion into the nether regions of this structure.

Jac Mac

[Paul Thompson 'Hooligan']

This made me chuckle... (fortunately my wife is far more tolerant...)

[I LOVE GT40- Paolo]

sorry in advance...:

the difference between an exhaust and a pussy?
try fuck an hot exhaust and then tell me..

[Dalton]

That is a sad comment. In fact, this could be terminal for the relationship, certainly for the happiness. As with many others on the forum, my wife is very supportive. Certainly makes you laugh, though.

Dalton

Dalton

[Fred W B]

A man goes to the zoo.

When he gets there, there was only a dog.

It was a shitzu.



Cheers

Fred W B

[Doug Sainlar]

Originally Posted by jac mac

I agree Doug,as per Petes suggestion I was hopeful that Fran would jump in as he may already have frequented the area of the structure concerned on some occasion and be able to give us a 'hands on' report on the matter from his perspective. I believe that he would have access to equipment like borescopes with camera link's etc which would enable us to be privy to his investigations and guide him as he further investigates the problem and advise him how to deal with any complication's that may arise. While it would appear that there are few if any barriers to prevent close examination of the area of concern, one never knows what sort of counter measures may be in place to prevent unwanted intrusion into the nether regions of this structure.

Jac Mac

OMG, Jac, I really did laugh out loud for at least a minute.

I couldn't have said it better myself!!!!

Cheers to you!

Dugly

[ross henry]

The blonde in her Jag was having the car cut out everytime she stopped & eventually out of desperation stopped off at the local garage where she was told by the mac that she should go around to the local coffee shop and enjoy a latte,and on her return the jag would be purring.Thats exactly what happened and the blonde was overjoyed, questioning the mac how he had down it & what was wrong? The typical reply came back: shit in the carb. to which the blonde responded, " How often?"

[Bill Bayard]

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, what the camel was for.

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."

The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."

After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant, "Bring in the camel!"

The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel.

As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he puffed out his chest and asked the Sergeant, "IS THAT how the enlisted men do it?"

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town"