Why do boys need parents?

David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
You may have seen this before. It would seem to have originated in the USA.
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
11.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
12.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
13.) Super glue is forever.
14.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
15.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
16.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
17.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
18.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
19.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 20.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.)80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
 
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Doug S.

The protoplasm may be 72, but the spirit is 32!
Lifetime Supporter
Wow, Paulo--that old bottle would be worth a lot here in the U.S., where we have gone antique crazy!

Doug
 

Pete McCluskey.

Lifetime Supporter
On second thought I'd better not try it. If the Feds see me mixing stuff together that suddenly starts smoking I might end up in Guantanamo.
life just aint fun anymore.boomsmile
 

Brian Stewart
Supporter
Not just boys - everyone who was born in the 1920's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's - Congratulations !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried
us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for
diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured lead-based
paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode
our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took
hitch-hiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a Ute on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonald's, KFC,
Subway or Red Rooster.

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow
we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died
from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy
fruit tingles and some crackers to blow up frogs with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it,
but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when
the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the
hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses
and played in creek beds with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no videogames at all, no 99
channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no
personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms.......... WE HAD FRIENDS and
we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from
these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time..no really!

We were given BB guns and sling shots for our 10th birthdays,
We drank milk laced with Strontium 90 from cows that had eaten grass covered in
nuclear fallout from the atomic testing at Maralinga in 1956.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the
bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!
Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to
deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather straps and bullies always
ruled the playground at school.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.They actually
sided with the law!

Our parents got married before they had children and didn't invent stupid names for
their kids like "Kiora" and "Blade"

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and
inventors ever!

The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids,
before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their
parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

PS -The big type is because your eyes are probably shot at your age (or is it the
Wine)?
 
I found this concerning the bleach and break fluid:

"Powdered Bleach, and Brake Fluid. Although this does not
pertain to electronics, it is a cheap, and easy way to start
a quick, large fire. Since these two ingredients are easy to
conceal, the chances of getting caught are slim.
Put the powdered bleach in a pile, next to, or on
whatever you want to light up. Pour about the same amount of
brake fluid on the bleac (enough to cover bleach pile).
A few seconds after mixing, you should notice some
bubbling or fizzing. At this point, stand back...the mixture
will give off a potent toxic chlorine gas. Depending on the
quality an amount of materials used, the fizzing will continue
for another 30 seconds to 2 minutes. The final result will be a
large column of flame. Using a 3 inch pile of chlorine, I
obtained a 3 foot column of fire."

844271.jpg
 
Although Bleach and Brake Fluid may start a small fire, I prefer to get my brush pile ignited with good old newspapers.....
..............and after it gets going slightly, I use recycled motor oil in one gallon plastic milk cartons tossed on the top of the pile. Eventually, the flames get ahold of the plastic jugs, and when the heat is such to melt a hole in the jug, the flames have a way of producing 20-30 foot tall flames. It is kind of a yearly ritual. My last pile (fir tree branches, and other scrub brush type stuff) was about 20 feet long and about 8 feet across, and about 8 feet tall. I had to stand about 10 feet away, or it was going to melt my rain gear! The fire is burned out and down to practically nothing in about 30 minutes.
 
Ca(OCl)2 (calcium hypochlorite) and HOCH2CH2OH (polyethylene glycol) are the chemicals that react. Swimming pool shock tablets and brake fluid seem to be the preferred sources. Trying this, however, may qualify you for a Darwin Award. The Darwin Awards
 
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