Earthquake appeal

[Simon]

(more for our self deprecating british members)

Disaster in Barnsley
An Appeal for Your Help



A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Epicentre: Close to Barnsley, England.

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering 'fookinhell' and 'choffin-norah'.

The earthquake decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Radio Barnsley reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Barnsley.

One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: 'It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning'.

Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals, rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher.


Can You Help....?
Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing
for the victims of this disaster.


Clothing is needed most of all, especially:

· Fila or Burberry baseball caps

· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)

· Shell suits (female)

· White sports socks

· Rock-Fort boots or any other product sold in Primark

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference.
Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

Remember:

· 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims

· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9

· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter.
The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding South Yorkshire communities.

[JimmyMac]

Are you a Chelsea supporter by any chance ?

[RichardH]

that is SO old

[JimmyMac]

Simon,
Is it true that you are painting your car in the new Essex colours ?

[Simon]

What have I done to deserve this?

[JimmyMac]

People lost their homes in that earthquake last month.
You now appear happy to dish out the "self deprecation" but cannot take it.

[Simon]

James,

As far as I can find out, nobody "lost their homes" in the earthquake last month for one, secondly, I didn't write the story, I just reposted it for a bit of fun 'cause I know we British can take the piss out of ourselves without getting too serious.
Why you felt the need to jibe at me with the "chelsea supporter" and "Essex colours" posts quite is beyond me.
But I'm a big lad, I can take it, I just don't see why it had to get personal?
If you're going to start going through the posts in the paddock section getting upset at people, there's some crackers in here!
"now't so queer as folk" as they say though.

Simon

[JimmyMac]

Simon,
In my opinion you are confusing banal diatribe with British satirical criticism.
The post was not funny in my opinion. In fact it is empty and insubstantial as are most of these paddock threads which you mention.
More importantly, it was without compassion for those folks who HAD suffered from an earthquake two weeks ago.

If you feel my commentary was a jibe and personal then so be it since you have missed the point in my previous post but I can say it was not my intention. Take this or leave it.

Malcolm recently opined that changes are happening to the content of these forums.
I fully agree with him and for some time now I have not wished to log into this site nor post regularly as it has changed for the worse in my opinion (as well as others) and I wish to avoid these things in my free time. This withstanding, I can tell you that unfortunately it will continue this way.

It is also not my intention in this reply to you, to keep this topic alive, but to give you a response out of courtesy, however as far as I may be concerned with this matter, it is now closed.

[Simon]

"as far as I may be concerned with this matter, it is now closed"

Ok boss, whatever you say.

[Ron Earp]

Originally Posted by JIMMYMAC

Malcolm recently opined that changes are happening to the content of these forums.
I fully agree with him and for some time now I have not wished to log into this site nor post regularly as it has changed for the worse in my opinion (as well as others) and I wish to avoid these things in my free time.

I do hope that you, James, as well as others realize that the Paddock is a subforum and does not reflect the content on the site as a whole. You can turn the paddock off in a sense so you don't have to see it at all. If that interests you, or others, please let me know. In fact, if the membership thinks the Paddock should simply be done away with we can make it happen. The only reason I created it in the first place was to have a place to put off topic threads and banter that we members might have a similar interest in (aviation, motorcycles, motorsport, boats, cars, etc.). The primary purpose wasn't for jokes, humor, or other things.

I do hope that the rest of the site is still maintaining a high signal to noise ratio. I certainly try to police the rest of the forums and make sure that topics have a good information content. If I am failing in this regard please don't hesitate to PM, email, or post and let me know.

And, if the site isn't maintaining a high signal to noise ratio there could be many reasons that we might should investigate. As the membership increases I'm sure we'll attract more "noise".

[Malcolm]

Well I like the paddock stuff and would be keen for it to stay. But take it for what it is - off topic rants and posts! I think I have the ability to realise that if sometihing is rubbish, poor taste or not my thing, I don't read the threads! It really isn't difficult to do. The rest of the forum also does exactly what it is meant to. I don't think the system is broke yet, so no need to fix it yet. The thread I started is the Possible Emerging Trends? thread in the paddock section, if you are interested to read it!

On the earthquake post, well I was woken up by the shaking of my house at 1.00 AM (no damage then, that came with the 80 mph winds this week which took a window off its hinges!) and I was amused by the post. Also the Irish flooding picture gave me a smile today, which I needed after learning yesterday that a company (BIASCO LTD) went bust taking £2,000 of my money! Bugger!

[Steve]

I have seen "not work safe" opt in for paddock type forums on other websites. keeps the main site free from "clutter", opinions and general pub banter which may offend those not in the mood for such chat.

Might be an option to consider

[Ron Earp]

Originally Posted by Malcolm

ystem is broke yet, so no need to fix it yet. The thread I started is the Possible Emerging Trends? thread in the paddock section, if you are interested to read it!

Oops, I thought I was responding to that thread actually. Not the first time I've been confused....

[JimmyMac]

Malcolm,
Let me clarify this.

Initially I did not take offence at this post.
My first reply about Chelsea was in reference to their soccer team being outstandingly beaten by a lesser Barnsley in the FA Cup.
Simon's "joke" was originally written years ago ago about Essex chavs, Simon's locale, hence my second retorte eluding to the origins of chav fashion in Essex.

Simon was the first to take personal offence at these.

His response concerns me now as some people feel that they will post this rubbish without due care and expect no personal comeback.

So who has the high ground here ?
Moral or political correctness now seems to dissolve with these anonymous posts.

On that night, your rumble in Sussex was nothing but it seemed to trouble you. But you have seen fit to mention it to null my concern.

So now I will get personal and relate to you that at 3.30am on the morning of that event, I received a telephone call from a seventy-five years old widow on her own, who had been sitting in the cold street for over two hours as she was terrified to go into her home to reach her cell phone to call her daughter, my wife.
I have also lived in both Essex and Barnsley and these things had nothing to do with my original replies or the point I later tried to make.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.