What's New in Middle East Riot Gear

Keith

Moderator
The Baron's roving investigators have been around and about in the Middle East during the recent disturbances, checking the latest in domestic riot protection wear, with the hope that we can find some budget ideas to assist the MoD equip our fighting men in Theatre, since the Defence Budgets are being slashed to the bone.

I have to say, we came up with some very interesting ideas which we will forward to Dr Foxxxxx. For example:

Ahmed here, is wearing this seasons best seller, the "Variable Ballistic Absorption Helmet" principle being of course, that the more water you leave in the bottles, the greater the protection.

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Whilst Aziz seems to prefer the older 'Boxhat' style helmet. His friend Kalid, however, doesn't seem to share Aziz's confidence in the apparel.

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Feroz has gone for the simple but effective 'Slabtop Protector' and the advantages are quite simple. Should you survive the first barrage, simply take it off and chuck it back.

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Hakim, the Wise & Judicious One is wearing one of my particular favourite 'Urban Protectohead' with lateral and vertical viewing slit.

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Nasir is sporting the ultimate in riot protection. The 'Crockpit Defender' is favoured by dissidents the world over. Rugged, versatile and useful for cooking and boiling your pants in. This is one the models at the top of our list to submit to the MoD.


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For the life of us, we couldn't make out the origin of Faisa's stylish headwear. This a la mode design seems to owe more to a rusting wok that has been buried for a thousand years. Ironically, had it been in better shape, it would have vied with the 'Crockpit' for an honourable mention to the MoD, as it looks just like the one my Grandfather used on the Somme.

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THE WINNER.

Wahiba is sporting, what we at BaronTowers would consider to be the ultimate budget head protection for our boys. Who wouldn't feel safe with 2 baguettes strapped to his ears and a ham salad roll sellotaped to his forehead? And, at the end of the day's busy rioting or Taliban hunting, you can always eat your helmet.

Dr Foxxxxx, this is the one for you!

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