The Last Post

Keith

Moderator
Hey guys, I thought I'd share a little bit of military history with you before I lose my mind and forget to go to the toilet. I come from a seriously classical musical dynasty but being the lazy arrogant son of a toad, I never took any musical tuition very seriously. My parents never bothered so I moved into different areas of the entertainment business and to be honest, I wouldn't have changed much, I mean I was a founder member of The Ministry of Sound, so I didn't do that bad:) I now have the facility to play music at my leisure and indeed have a full on 64 channel digital recording studio at home, including percussion machines, vocoders, syntheizers etc etc/

I don't actually use it much any more as I tend to give stuff away to local youngsters who aspire to be musicians as I can think of no better legacy than to pass on my own good fortune to young people looking for a break.

Anyhow, I do digress from the main theme. I was always attracted to the military, in fact my Mother (RIP) wanted me to go to Sandhurst Military College, but when I pointed out that I was an idiot, she then suggested Mons (College). Howsomever, not too surprisingly I got kicked out of school at 15 at went my way into the world alone.

But I retained my passion for the military and I had the background in music, so the future was ordained. No actually, it was not. On a typically drizzly London day I signed up for the British Army as a humble Private and one of the first things you ever learn is not to tell anyone what you like to do as the perverts will do the opposite except when the want to humiliate you..So, I told them I could play the Bugle.

Massive error. I don't believe the British Army has been to war with Fife & Drums for perhaps 200 years, although I do realise that the Scottish Bagpipes were used as a "weapon" on many occasions, so when we arrived in the Aden 'Protectorate', in addition to my SLR I had a fucking shiny bugle (my own) complete with Queen's Royal Regiment tassles hanging around my neck.

The Company CO insisted (for the benefit of morale) that I play all the calls conducive with regular routine which meant I had to be up at least 30 mins before everyone else in the a.m to play Revellie. It just so happened (in Singapore Lines just North of the Airport) that the nursing contingent were billeted (sensibly) a good bit away from the main camp, and on a much higher level.

I had a complaint from the Company CO that although the main camp could hear my bugle plainly, for some reason the nurses couldn't, so, having played for the main camp, I had to run up the hill and play it through the nurses hut keyhole a second time. Seriously. The orders thus read "One for the Camp and one for the Keyhole"

Now, the ragheads hated my bugle even more than the average Englishman who kind of cowers whenever the pipes are played. (I have to be careful because Mr Morton is a dab hand at blowing into sheep's stomachs) Anyhow, my efforts to rouse the nurses (!) was inevitably accompanied by a few 7.62 rounds - it was a dangerous business to be sure.

Notwithstanding, on most days I had to play Retreat and the Last Post and I'll be honest, they were always the hardest calls to play.

This guy makes a fair job of it, but there are no live rounds whizzing by and, it's a trumpet not a bugle....

Seriously though, it's been a lot of fun. Good luck to all... and I will see you when you're older :)

TheLastPost.mp4 video by hard11 - Photobucket

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So,
 

Jim Craik

Lifetime Supporter
Keith,

My friend, you do what you need to do, take care of yourself. We will keep you in our hearts.
 
I see you have changed your name to "Downgraded to Hiatus". That's good news pal. That implies that, like the inimitable Mr Shwarzennegger "I'll be back".

I look forward to it.

Take care old chum.

Graham.
 

David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
Just give Keith a couple of weeks while he deals with a few items and he'll be back - probably fully refreshed and as acerbic as ever.
 
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