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Old 1st May 2012, 06:13 AM   #1
Pete's Avatar
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Brisbane, Austr
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Posts: 8,419
A Short history

For my American Friends, Liberal is RIGHT Labor is LEFT or socialist.
Australian politics - 1788 to 2012
A brief and interesting history…

You should never stop learning.

For those that don't know about Australian history, here is a condensed version:

Australians originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters
and gatherers. They lived on kangaroos on the plains during the summer and
would then go to the coast and live on fish and mussels in the winter.

The two most important events in all Aussie history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundation of modern Aussie civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of Australians into two
distinct sub-groups:

1 Liberals, (Right)

2 Labor.(left. It is spelt labor not labour because socialists can't spell.)

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminium can were invented yet,
so while our early Aussies were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night,
while they were drinking beer.
This was the beginning of what is known as the

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off
the Liberals by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing.
This was the beginning of the

Some of these Labor men eventually evolved into women.
They became known as
Some noteworthy Labor achievements include the domestication of
cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, lesbian and homosexual activities, and the concept of
democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the
Liberals provided.

Modern Laborites and Union Leaders
like imported beer (with lime added), but
most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish – but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu and French food are standard Labor fare.

Another interesting, evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men.!!!!!!

Most Social Workers,
Government Workers – State and Federal,
Personal Injury Lawyers,
Journalists (especially at The Age,and the ABC staff),
Group Therapists are:
Laborites .

Liberals drink domestic beer, mostly Carlton or XXXX. They eat red meat
(rare), and still provide for their women. Liberals are big game hunters,
forestry workers, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the
military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
Liberals who own companies, hire other Liberals
who want to work for a living.!!!!!

produce little or nothing.
They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.
That is why most of the laborites
created the business of trying to get more for nothing - and usually plead
for government money to fund their unproductive, parasitical activities.

Here ends today's lesson in Australian history.

It should be noted that a Laborite may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it.

will simply laugh,
and be so convinced of the absolute truth of history,
that this email will be forwarded immediately to other true believers
and to more
just to piss them off.

And there you have it.
Let your next action reveal your true self.
Join up NOW to the:Party of your choice.

I'm going to have another beer
and light the BBQ.
Cheers, Pete.
Queensland Australia.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
DRB #48
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Old 1st May 2012, 07:28 AM   #2
IanAnderson's Avatar
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Re: A Short history

The picture says it all
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DAX GT40. Morgan 3.9 EFi, Worked by John Eales.
Renault Box, Always makes me smile!
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Old 1st May 2012, 09:19 AM   #3
Professor Plumpe
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School for Scandal
United Kingdom
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Wessex
Posts: 9,699
Re: A Short history

Strewth! After all that I'm off for a scoop or two of Carlton mate. Color (sic) me confused Bruce.

See, there's me thinking that you and Crack were politically diametrically opposed like you know you Bruce, stand slightly to the right of Ghengis Khan whilst Mr Crack seems to be wearing strides of a pinkish hue it seems to me - but here you are both bloody Liberals mate!

It's gonna take more than a few scoops to sort this one out mate.....

Ian. Nice job mate, but what's the connection to Bruce?
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