Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Chum Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I'm now banned from Tesco. Didn't like shopping there anyway.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Chum Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I'm now banned from Tesco. Didn't like shopping there anyway.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
