Showing my Sensitive & Caring Side

Keith

Moderator
The Cowboy...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,
"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told
and dropped it to the floor.

Then she kicked him hard in the bollocks, looked at him groaning in agony on the floor and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
 

Pete McCluskey.

Lifetime Supporter
Mr Moderator shame on two counts 1. It should be in the jokes section. 2. I kicked the bars out of my play pen when I first heard that it's so old.
Fine yourself two paddock points! Better still you can take Milne back.:furious:
 

Jim Rosenthal

Supporter
Keith, you are docked THREE Paddock Points. I said so. In addition, you are demoted (wait, never mind, we can't do that, it will mean giving up your avatar which I like a lot, so never mind on that one) Just send us a lot of money in small unmarked bills. Like hundreds.
 

Keith

Moderator
Sorry, you do not have the power to fine me anything. In the Paddock I am the Supreme Being, so be careful you wretches....:veryangry:
 

Terry Oxandale

Skinny Man
I found that my wife's and my usage of the term "wench" is not what others would use it for. We carry it around as more or less an endearing term, but last fall, when I was waking up from anesthesia, I asked the nurse, "where's my wench?". Debbie (my wife) was behind me and noted an obvious look of spite from the nurse when I said that. My wench immediately took up for me as I lay helpless on the gurney.
 
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