I couldn't believe my ears yesterday. Stuck in the car for a couple of hours, I was listening to the BBC talk show station Radio Football, sorry, I mean Radio 5.
They were having a huge phone-in, asking people their thoughts on the approved list of names for Storms.
Two things in particular disturbed me:
1. Since when does an area of Low Pressure, with 3 mph winds, deserve a bloody name?
I'm not talking about the odd one-off weather event like the massive one we had back in the mid-late eighties, that savaged the trees in the Home Counties. Perhaps that should have been named? What I am preemptively ranting about, is the undoubted likelihood that from tomorrow, any wind strong enough to disturb the Ivy hanging off my Porch, will result in an Amber Alert from the Met Office, warning us all to wear Safety Goggles and carry a set of spanners in case we get trapped under falling Scaffolding and the 'event' will be Called Wendy, from Wiggan!
2. People called Chris from Colchester and Wendy from Wiggan, who are both deliriously happy, to know that Storms will be named after them! Quote from Chris, " I can't believe they are going to name a Storm AFTER ME!! How cool is that, I mean, ME?! Wow!! I'm honoured!!!"
Me: "sod off and die Chris!"
I'm sorry Chris and Wendy, but if there is a storm named either Chris, or Wendy, at some time in the future, it will not have been named after either of you two self-absorbed morons! It may share a common name with you, but that is all. Nobody cares about either of you enough to name as much as a stick of Celery after you, never mind a meteorological event! Get over yourselves.
What on earth happened, to make so many people, so bloody self-important, that they actually believe that anyone else gives the merest glimmer of a toss about them? Could it be the recent craze of Selfies? I bet Chris and Wendy take a shit tonne of Selfies and flood the internet with them!
Now, as for this entire Storm naming mallarcky, this couldn't be yet another way to frighten the stupid masses into thinking that the Weather is getting worse, could it?. I mean really, we never used to have weather in the UK, so extreme that it justified being given a name. Now we have a Naming Policy FFS!
They were having a huge phone-in, asking people their thoughts on the approved list of names for Storms.
Two things in particular disturbed me:
1. Since when does an area of Low Pressure, with 3 mph winds, deserve a bloody name?
I'm not talking about the odd one-off weather event like the massive one we had back in the mid-late eighties, that savaged the trees in the Home Counties. Perhaps that should have been named? What I am preemptively ranting about, is the undoubted likelihood that from tomorrow, any wind strong enough to disturb the Ivy hanging off my Porch, will result in an Amber Alert from the Met Office, warning us all to wear Safety Goggles and carry a set of spanners in case we get trapped under falling Scaffolding and the 'event' will be Called Wendy, from Wiggan!
2. People called Chris from Colchester and Wendy from Wiggan, who are both deliriously happy, to know that Storms will be named after them! Quote from Chris, " I can't believe they are going to name a Storm AFTER ME!! How cool is that, I mean, ME?! Wow!! I'm honoured!!!"
Me: "sod off and die Chris!"
I'm sorry Chris and Wendy, but if there is a storm named either Chris, or Wendy, at some time in the future, it will not have been named after either of you two self-absorbed morons! It may share a common name with you, but that is all. Nobody cares about either of you enough to name as much as a stick of Celery after you, never mind a meteorological event! Get over yourselves.
What on earth happened, to make so many people, so bloody self-important, that they actually believe that anyone else gives the merest glimmer of a toss about them? Could it be the recent craze of Selfies? I bet Chris and Wendy take a shit tonne of Selfies and flood the internet with them!
Now, as for this entire Storm naming mallarcky, this couldn't be yet another way to frighten the stupid masses into thinking that the Weather is getting worse, could it?. I mean really, we never used to have weather in the UK, so extreme that it justified being given a name. Now we have a Naming Policy FFS!
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