Humour is often a great way to get a point across.
To Wit:
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While on his morning walk, Ex British Prime Minister Tony Blair falls over,<o
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has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency ward at his<o
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nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time.<o
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So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly<o
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Gates. 'Welcome to Heaven,' says Saint Peter, 'Before you settle in, it<o
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seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so<o
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we're not sure what to do with you.'<o
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No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer,' says the<o
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ex PM.<o
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'I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from G-d Himself. He says<o
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that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to<o
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spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where<o
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you'll live for eternity.'<o
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But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,' replies Blair.<o
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'I'm sorry ... But we have our rules,' Peter interjects. And, with that, St.<o
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Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down...all the way<o
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to Hell.<o
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The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course.<o
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The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22°C. In<o
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the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Harold<o
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Wilson and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped him out<o
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over the years --- John Smith, Michael Foot, Jim Callaghan, etc.<o
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All of the Labour Party leaders were there ... everyone laughing, happy, and<o
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casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, to hug him and to<o
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reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of<o
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'suckers and peasants.' They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on<o
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lobster and caviar.<o
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The Devil himself comes up to Blair with a frosty drink, 'Have a tequila and<o
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relax, Tony!'<o
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'Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge,' says Blair, dejectedly.<o
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This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it<o
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just gets better from there!'<o
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Blair takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a<o
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really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls<o
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hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with<o
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the European Constitution and the Education, Immigration, Tough on Crime<o
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promises to name only a few.<o
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They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to<o
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go.<o
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Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Blair steps on the elevator and<o
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heads upward.<o
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When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is<o
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waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit Heaven,' the old man says, opening<o
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the gate.<o
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So for 24 hours Blair is made to hang out with a bunch of honest,<o
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good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other<o
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than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or smart-arse<o
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joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes<o
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great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't<o
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see anybody he knows and he isn't even treated like someone special!<o
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'Whoa,' he says uncomfortably to himself. 'Harold Wilson never prepared me<o
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for this!'<o
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The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, 'Well, you've spent a day in<o
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Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.'<o
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With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Blair<o
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reflects for a minute ... then answers: 'Well, I would never have thought<o
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I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really<o
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think I belong in Hell with my friends.'<o
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So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all<o
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the way to Hell. The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a<o
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barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland,<o
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kind of like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback.<o
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He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained<o
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together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic<o
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bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with<o
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grime.<o
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The Devil comes over to Blair and puts an arm around his shoulder. 'I don't<o
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understand,' stammers a shocked Tony, 'Yesterday I was here and there was a<o
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golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank<o
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tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland<o
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full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!'<o
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The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs,
'Yesterday we were<o></o>
campaigning; today you voted for us!'<o></o>
