Jokes anyone? -
- Thread starter p thompson
- Start date
After I retired, my Mrs made fun of me when I started losing track of what day it was and I told her that, once SHE retired, at some point she would start losing track of exactly what day it was too...AND, SHO NUFF, SHE DID!
IMPO, amazingly soon after one retires, all days become much the same for those of us with no schedule to follow. Some us will admit it. Others will not. ;-)
'Most accurate pie chart I've ever SEEN!
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
Good ol' Reddy Kilowatt.... ready to kill you!
Randy, can you advise on what happens in the 80s , cos thats where I am now ! ( still in the shop working )
My Check engine light came on so many years ago now, it burnt out! Sold my shop a couple years back or I’d be out there now!
flatchat(Chris)
Supporter
dun no about you guys but that DPF warning light gives me the shits--- and any other POS warning light that comes on in modern cars
--especially whenst on a loverly cruise somewhere - you have to stop and read the in car manual to find out what the dash symbol actually means - only to find out that it isn't life threatening and proceed as till next service ........
what's wrong with " cold - normal - hot " gauges -- self explanatory aaand logical
Rant over, but similarly to old age "feelings " perhaps
--especially whenst on a loverly cruise somewhere - you have to stop and read the in car manual to find out what the dash symbol actually means - only to find out that it isn't life threatening and proceed as till next service ........
what's wrong with " cold - normal - hot " gauges -- self explanatory aaand logical
Rant over, but similarly to old age "feelings " perhaps
An oldie but still my favouritedun no about you guys but that DPF warning light gives me the shits--- and any other POS warning light that comes on in modern cars
--especially whenst on a loverly cruise somewhere - you have to stop and read the in car manual to find out what the dash symbol actually means - only to find out that it isn't life threatening and proceed as till next service ........
what's wrong with " cold - normal - hot " gauges -- self explanatory aaand logical
Rant over, but similarly to old age "feelings " perhaps
Attachments
All in good fun. Only because I’m putting a Big Block Chevy in my Lola
Perhaps it’s for when your check engine light comes on you can crawl underneath and take a look.
Bill Kearley
Supporter
Definition of dilemma................. I'm in a hotel room with only 1 bed and three people, One hot chick on one side of me and some other guy on the other. I'm in the middle. Who do you turn your back on ??
