The Cro-Magnon and the Neanderthal
Once upon a time, there was a Cro-Magnon man named Boorack. His neighbor a few caves over was Ugh-Ugh. Boorack and Ugh-Ugh got along ok, although they certainly did see the world very differently.
Ugh-Ugh was peaceful enough but seemed to value his worth by the amount of pokesticks he made -- his Neandy term for spear. He kept stockpiling his pokesticks in his cave, and would rant on and on to Boorack about how needed them to make sure he kept the evil Gobment tribe from across the river out of his cave.
Ugh-Ugh seemed to like living alone, and claimed all he needed to live were his pokesticks and his favorite sitting rock. And his happy smokeweed.
Boorack liked Ugh-Ugh fine enough, but wondered if sitting in a cave all day marveling in one's one personal responsibility and freedom was really what life was all about. It didn't seem bad to Boorack but it didn't seem like much would ever change either.
One day, Boorack crossed the river to go spy a bit on the evil Gobment tribe. He climbed up a high hill and hid in a stand of bushes, observing the Gobments below. Based on what Ugh-Ugh had told him, he expected to see a group of lazy ne'er do wells, sucking off the teat of a few Gobments who did all the work.
Instead, Boorack was amazed! The Gobments had organized themselves into teams. One team fished. One farmed. The other built houses, and a fourth built paths and walkways. The men and women were all treated equally and all had a fair say in what would be done next, and how. Because everyone didn't have to do EVERYTHING, some Gobments could work on inventing the wheel, and others learning to master fire. One even figured out that putting some sugar and some wheat in a vat and cooking it made some mighty fine fire water.
What seemed even MORE amazing was that there were actual OLD Gobments! Boorack had never seen a Cro-Mag over the age of 30, much less a Neandy! And it looked like the older Gobments were respected by the younger ones, who -- in exchange for the knowledge the elders passed on to them -- cared for the elders.
Boorack went back to his cave slightly puzzled by all this. He stopped in to see Ugh Ugh who was pushing making more pokesticks to prevent the inevitable Gobment takeover. Boorack told him what he had seen, and Ugh Ugh sighed. Boorack, he said, you've have your eyes and your ears tricked by the evil god MSM -- all you saw was an illusion. No one in the Gobment tribe is happy -- they have no rights! But, said Boorack, they all seemed to be able to do what they wanted once the necessary village work was done!
Ugh Ugh laughed. See! Once the work was done! SEe what you said! How can that be freedom! They had to do work for others!
Boorack scratched his chin. Ugh-Ugh's words seemed to make sense on the surface, but they didn't match up with what he had seen across the river. He left Ugh-Ugh's cave to think.
Several weeks later, he went back cross the river to see once more whether Ugh-Ugh was right. He was amazed! The Gobments had built warm structures to live in! And had the evil equus doing work for them! They had developed a new pokestick that used twisted vines to launch the pokestick 4 times as far as even Ugh Ugh could throw it!
How did all of this happen? Boorack had to find out. So he went down into the valley, scared, but wanting to know more.
The first Gobment he met greeted Boorack and said peace friend, do you wish to join our tribe? The rewards are many, but so are the responsbilities! Boorack said, please, tell me more. Must I bow to the will of the collective!
No, no, nothing like that lauged the Gobment. You will just have to spend some of your time working for the benefit of all, in order to benefit from the comforts and advancements we have created as a group. Boorack scratched his chin again (he did that a lot, Cro-Mag beards itched, although Schickatooza the Cro-Mag was about to solve that problem via the invention of the razor). He said, so I can't sit around all day and make pokesticks?
No said the Gobment member. We keep all the pokesticks over in that hut. You can use them responsibly -- we don't want the Cro Mag who might invent a chariot to take us to the Moon to die in an unfortunate pokestick accident!
Boorack wondered. THis didn't sound so bad. I spend some of my time contributing to society, and in return I benefit from it as well! And look at all they have accomplished!
I'm in said Boorack.
Months later, the winter came, and Boorack sat happy and warm in his new hut in the Gobment valley. He had a thought -- what of his old friend Ugh-Ugh.....and decided to go check on him.
He crossed the river and headed up to his old cave, and yelled "Ugh Ugh!" Where are you? I've got great news, we don't have to fear the Gobment!
All he heard was a moan. He ran to the cave, and found Ugh Ugh on the floor, breathing his last breath, impaled by a pokestick. Ugh Ugh, what happened said Borack, trying to help his friend. Ugh-Ugh pushed him away violentlsy saying, I tripped and fell on my pokestick, but I am personally responsible! I have the liberty! I will take care of myself!
And he promptly died.
In this way, the conservative I mean Neanderthal slowly became extinct, and the Cro Mag built a shining city on the hill were all worked hard, and prospered!
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All in good fun my Neandy I mean friends!
