Who ever said the Scots are not romantic.

[David Morton]

Subject: Scottish Classifieds
Date: Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:55:09 +0000
Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the
> lonely-hearts column.
>
> Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23
> stone,
> Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for
> tango
> sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming
> passion.
> Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
>
> Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything
> considered. Box06/03
>
> Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict
> interested
> in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on
> Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.
>
> Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime
> fiancée
> seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still
> exists in
> this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41
>
> Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and
> shirty after a
> few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail
> purposes, maybe
> more Box 84/87
>
> Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on
> the beach,
> writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown
> rice dishes,
> seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more
> as we
> bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful
> crazy
> journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
>
> Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties
> will
> include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to
> office social
> functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45
>
> Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp
> cottage in the
> arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady
> with big
> chest. Box 40/27
>
> Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for
> wining and
> dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and
> slaughtering
> dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a
> pale moon.
> Box 52/07
>
> Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler
> competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September
> 1978,
> seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights
> spent
> comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please,
> Please!
> Box 30/41
>
> Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks
> alibi for
> the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

[David S.]

Now that's funny.
Dave