Lucas Replacement Smoke Kit For Sale

[Charlie Farley]

Have you inadvertently let the smoke out of the wires on your classic British car? This, then, is the solution to your problem!

Here is presented for your perusal one Lucas Replacement Wiring Harness Smoke kit, P/N 530433, along with the very rare Churchill Tool 18G548BS adapter tube and metering valve. These kits were supplied surreptitiously to Lucas factory technicians as a trouble-shooting and repair aid for the rectification of chronic electrical problems on a plethora of British cars. The smoke is metered, through the fuse box, into the circuit which has released it's original smoke until the leak is located and repaired. The affected circuit is then rectified and the replacement smoke re-introduced. An advantage over the cheap repro smoke kits currently available is the exceptionally rare Churchill metering valve and fuse box adapter. It enables the intrepid and highly skilled British Car Technician to meter the precise amount of genuine Lucas smoke required by the circuit.

Unlike the cheap, far-eastern replacement DIYsmoke offered by the "usual suppliers", this kit includes a filter to ensure that all the smoke is of consistent size, It has been our experience in our shop that the reproduction Taiwanese smoke is often "lumpy", which will cause excessive resistance in our finely-engineered British harnesses and components. This is often the cause of failure in the repro electrical parts currently available, causing much consternation and misplaced cursing of the big three suppliers.

These kits have long been the secret weapon of the "Ultimate Authorities" in the trade, and this may be the last one available. Be forewarned, though, that it is not applicable to any British vehicle built after the discontinuing of bullet connectors, so you Range Rover types are still on your own...

This Genuine Factory Authorized kit contains enough smoke to recharge the entire window circuit on a 420 Jaguar, and my dear friend and advisor George Wolf of British Auto Specialty assures me that he can replace ALL the smoke in a W&F Barrett All-Weather Invalid Car(147 CC) with enough left over to test a whole box of Wind-Tone horns for escaped smoke. How much more of an endorsement do you need?

More, you say? Well, I once let the smoke out of the overdrive wiring on my friend Roger Hankey's TR3B, and was able to drive over 200 miles home from The Roadster Factory Summer Party by carefully introducing smoke into the failed circuit WITHOUT even properly repairing the leak. Another friend, Richard Stephenson, was able to repair the cooling fan circuit of his Series 1 E-type by merely replacing a fuse and injecting a small quantity of smoke back into the wires. So there!

 

[Charlie Farley]

These are some of the questions i have received so far :
Q: I have a fourteen year old son named Lucas who I have caught several times in the back of the garage smoking. Can this item help him to respect a little firm parental intervention and aid him in smoking less...or even stopping altogether?
A: Part of the problem may be the fact that you named your son after the Prince Of Darkness. Mayhap you should be happy that all you have caught him doing in the back of the garage is smoking! My suggestion is: since you already have spoiled him for life with his moniker, you search the 'Bay for a proper Little British Car to restore as a father-and-son project. That way, he'll have a way to fill the idle hours he'd have spent chasing girls had he been named Rocky or something more suitable. Plus, he'll learn first-handed how disgusting smoke can be. Alas, though, not with this unit, because whilst trying to photograph it for a spread in "Popular Ether Technology", it was unfortunately broken. Therefore, the auction must be terminated early. Thanks for the heartwarming interest!


Q: Once I have re-introduced smoke into my TR-2, do you warranty that it's system will resume operating at the speed of dark?
A: If you reintroduce the smoke through a microwave oven, you may even go back in time!


Q: I have been very diligent over the years and have maintained the smoke in my Sunbeam's wires perfectly. The problem is that that special Lucas perfume has disappeared from the dash, carpets and seats. In fact, at the last Concours d'Elegance I lost out to a frogeye with period odors. Is the smoke in your kit fresh enough to bring back the OEM smells of burning plastic and bakelite and are you including an adapter to replace same.
A: No adapter needed, but have you tried just STARTING that over-restored trailer queen? It might bring back the aroma by itself.


Q: This has been a most informative thread which set me off thinking about wider global environmental changes that have happened since the mid 70's. Could it be that the copious release of smoke from Lucas wiring looms around that time has significantly contributed to the holes in the ozone layer and the onset of global warming? Could it be that, had your excellent device been more available at that time, we could have saved the planet for future generations instead of fighting a rear guard action? Hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn't it.
A: Hey- This is a serious site- we're not discussing "junk science" like Global Climate Change!


Q: I have a questions. For some time. My object is to restore a the few pre-Chrysler Rootes Sunbeam Tigers to original factory condition, with ALL the LAT racing options. So far, I have been quite successful, but unaware of your Lucas Smoke Kit. I am perplexed as to it's satisfactory application to this original British Classic that Mr. Carroll Shelby has enhanced with a lot of Ford (USA) parts. This includes a large portion, but not all, of the electrics. It is very easy to differentiate between the Lucas Parts and the Ford Parts, as the Ford Parts still work. While we can admire Mr. Lucas for the development of the intermittent windshield wiper, the self-dimming lighting system, and the colorful turn signal spark generator, it is unclear whether your offering will work satisfactorily with so much of the electrics originating in the US. Is this device compatible, as the US parts do not show signs of leaking smoke?
A: The Lucas smoke may cause failure of the connecting interstices, but the, so will everything else.


Q: Maybe you can help me. I have an old generator that I have suspected of having a metaphysical ozone leak for several years. It’s one of those things I feel I know to be true but cannot prove. Anyway, through an ingenious marriage of a Sharper Image Ionic Breeze air purifier and a breast milk pump, (by the way, both were obtained on ebay) I have devised a way to recharge the ozone that I can smell leaking from the generator. But, you guessed it, when I disconnect the wiring to introduce the replacement ozone I invariably cause a smoke leak. Do you think there is a way to mate our two machines in such a way that I could “kill two birds with a single stone” – if you will.
A: That's just wrong.


Q: Can I use this device to replace the smoke in my Alfa Spider? Is Brit smoke the same as Italian smoke?
A: Only if it's pre-Bosch.


Q: Will this kit put back ALL the smoke in a 1975 Midget wire harness? Some time ago while driving our 75 Midget smoke began pouring from under the hood, after pulling over, smoke was immediately followed by flames. A HUGE amount of smoke was lost from the wire harness (10 minutes worth before the fire department showed up). Your jar appears to be too small to contain the volume of smoke produced by the Midget on that day. Please specify quantity of smoke. PS - Would you know where can get bulk replacement glue on insulation, there is none left on any part of the wire harness under the hood. The harness appears to be intact but is lacking smoke holding insulation. I'm planning on rerouting the main power buss from over top of the fuel line. This way next time I will have smoke, red hot wires without melting thru the fuel line. Thanks in advance.
A: You'll need bulk smoke, but I'd try your last suggestion before ordering any. Good luck!


Q: Is this setup on the "metric system" or can it be used universally? I have a MB 380SL but have replaced some of the wirings with U.S. products. Will your product make the transition? Also, are there any EPA limitations on shipping?
A: This setup is Whitworth only. sorry.


Q: As you may or may not know, the Japanese 'borrowed' heavily from British designs back in the 50's and 60's. In fact, the Skinner Union carbs on my beloved Datsun 1600 roadster were actually built by Hitachi under license. Also, most of the electrical devises in early Datsuns were copied from Lucas. That said, do you know if an adapter is available to use the Lucas Kit you offer on a Datsun 1600 or do I need to keep searching for the Hitachi/Mitsubshi version? Thanks, Paul
A: It sort of worked in my Datsun 410 Station Wagon, but the lights all shined in instead of out. It was quite disturbing...


Q: Does this unit contain new or re-cycled smoke and will if my 1966 Triumph Bonneville motorcycle?
A: This is new, previously un-leaked smoke, as originally installed on your T-120. Have at it!


Q: Would this product fix the Miller dynamo on my motorbike? The smoke got out of it years ago and I am in despair. Having to run a total loss electrical system now. Please, no smart-alec comments about nothing to lose. I have been desperate for a cure for years and will jump at anything. I get so depressed. But I really liked your answers to all the questions. I learned so much. You must be smart. What are some good upgrades for my bike? Should I get a Boyer electronic ignition?
A: Probably.


Q: It looks like a self contained, auto smoking, environmentally enclosed, smoke recirculation, multi-smoker bong I created in the late 60s. The only thing missing is the air manifold (from a fish tank set-up) to hook up the individual smoking tubes. Are you sure you didn’t get this idea from me, when we were smoking that wacky tobacco one time? ; > )
A: Could be. I can't remember.

 

[Charlie Farley]

Q: Where would I mount the Smoke Kit in my Mini? There's certainly no room under the bonnet, and the boot is filled with a large tool kit, spare tire, extra spark plugs, points & condensers, spare coil, baling wire, duct tape, 5 quarts of 20w-50 Castrol, tow strap, jumper cables, one gallon jug of 50/50 antifreeze, spare fuses, wire stripper, 20 foot roll of 16 ga. wire, electrical connectors, large roll of electrical tape, a Haynes Manual, and a Book of Common Prayer.
A: You need the half-pint (Imperial) model. By the way, carrying all that kit of spares is just asking for trouble.


Q: Will this fit my zetec mondeo.
A: Only if you use it as a donor car for a Lotus 7 copy.


Q: Sir! I have recently stumbled upon your forum to which I think I can put your mind at ease concerning the rarity of this item. I live in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains here in East Tennessee. The early settlers of this area were primarily English and really never left this area. Hence the hain't and yall's and pokes that people still speak in everyday language is just old English! Well, to my point. They also drove many British cars over the years and one still can find many of these old relics all over the landscape languishing in fields with their rotting harnesses leaking away, yes that is correct, the Smoky Mountains actually got their name from the LBC's. I would be happy to climb up to Clingman's dome and hold an empty moonshine jar up in the air and "capture" some genuine, well preserved smoke for anyone that will pay the cost of the moonshine (not many empty jars lying about you know) and the cost of shipping to their destination. And yes, I will ship worldwide.
A: This is a hoax! We have the same smoke, from the same Scots-Irish roots, in WV. It is being represented by Scottish separatists that this smoke will directly replace the genuine Lucas smoke. It will, instead, reverse your earthing and burn out the dynamo, hence rendering every military vehicle in the UK stationary, enabling Sean Connery to finally rule the British Isles. Beware!


Q: My cousin is restoring a Riley and he had heard that Lucas (the inventors of convergent technology) had worked on a variant that recycled the smoke through the casework as a woodworm/termite/borer deterrent. Are you aware of this application and if so what modifications can be made to the item for sale?
A: My friend Super Dave Bondon has used the method for years to keep a Morgan/Lotus race car in sound condition. Merely replace the fuse-box adapter with BMC tool 18G187 (radiator reverse-flush adapter) and you are ready to go.


Q: While I can see your unit would be suitable for early model Land Rovers, I was wondering if it would also suit my Defender. I am becoming increasingly worried about my Defender which has yet to emanate any smoke and, as per the oil leak situation, I am beginning to wonder if perhaps the system has run out of smoke ? Perhaps you can steer me in the right direction on this one.
A: Your temperament would obviously be better suited by a Series I Land Rover. As your Defender has no bullet connectors, this unit is incompatible. Thanks for the query.


Q: It is necessary to sound a note of caution here for potential users of this device who wish to recharge their Lucas screen-wiper circuits. The screen wiper motor (part numbers SW53098A through SW53089K) normally has an attached pair of smoke dispersant arms which can cause the unit to dispense far larger volumes of smoke than other units, so an extra large reservoir may be needed when using the kit. It was rumored that the dispersant arms were originally intended to clear water from glass, but rigorous scientific tests have proved that this was not possible.
A: Thanks for bringing it up. An added note of caution- The replacement plastic dispersant arms moving across glass can generate offsetting (static) smoke which will back up into the wiring causing great havoc. Please use proper (Tex or similar) arms at all times.


Q: I'm a little skeptical about this being a genuine Lucas product . . .If it were real, wouldn't it be leaking?
A: See the discussion of the Nuffield Paradox belong. This ground has been covered already.


Q: Is it possible that this Smoke Kit will work for Lucas refrigerators? I had always heard that one of these refrigerators would keep my Guinness at the perfect (room) temperature. But mine seems to be faulty and the beer is cold. Will more smoke help to rectify this situation?
A: Try using a Series II E-Type AC unit. I've found that the vent temperature is ideal for most Irish stouts. Your Lucas refrigerator is probably hopelessly beyond repair.


Q: This is not really a question but a desperate plea for help. I recently completed a patent search for a replacement smoke generator that would make this product obsolete. However during a recent vacation to area 51 in Arizona some little green men abducted my 1964 Hillman from the parking garage at the Indian Casino. Although they returned the car - - my original papers were missing. I would appreciate it if you would all keep an eye out for these nefarious creatures. It will be easy to recognize them -- as I said -- they are little and green -- about the color of British Racing Green. Thank you for giving me a forum to enlist aid. Good luck with he NOS Lucas item -- if I locate these characters I will put my invention on e-bay for sale. Any information leading to their capture will be rewarded with a free unit.
A: Glad to help, but those were probably not aliens. Lifeforms with the technology for intergalactic travel would surely have kept a Hillman to take back and study.


Q: Is this the type of smoke one would use to blow up someone's ass? If so I'll bid. I'm running low.
A: It seems the British motor trade did that for decades, so this must be the same stuff.


Q: I'm afraid you've become trapped in a classic Joseph Heller conundrum. You assert that this is an authentic Lucas part and offer substantial testimony that it works and is effective in many applications. It would seem impossible that it could work and also be a genuine Lucas product.
A: This is known as the Nuffield Paradox. It can't be helped. It is the reason BL finally adopted a clenching sphincter as their corporate logo.


Q: Great piece! Tobad there are not a hundred bidders. Perhaps the initial price was too high. I have adapted mine by wrapping wire around the muffler and just letting the smoke fill the entire interior and engine bay and trunk -- no electric problems what so ever. Course there is nothing Lucas left in the system. Happy TR6 racer!
A: This is a crude but effective technique first pioneered by the Triumph works teams at LeMans in 1961. I'm glad to see it is still in use. I understand the TRF TR-S is similarly equipped.


Q: I'm amazed that you have one of these kits in your possession. It was my understanding that they were produced under license from Lucas at the Lockheed/Girling factory in Swindon which burned to the ground in the late seventies, taking with it all of the SSB775 brake master cylinder kits for the dual-circuit master cylinders fitted to BL vehicles of the period. I note the lack of of the proper pump and pressure gauge needed to ensure priming of the system at a minimum of 1.5-2.0 bar. Of course this can also be accomplished by momentarily grounding the "A" terminal of the voltage regulator (both words being totally misleading) whilst hopping up and down on one foot. Alternatively one can attach the special Churchill adaptor hose (L.184A-2A)to the spare tire valve. This technique was later adapted by Volkswagen for windshield washer operation. Thanks.
A: I'm always open to a tech tip from a master. Thank you!


Q: I always thought that the volume "Smoke and Mirrors" (Luddite Press, 1947) was the Lucas Master Catalog. I also always thought that the smoke is stored in the battery(s). From my experience, the smoke stops being released when I disconnect the battery, and comes back immediately once I reconnect it. Also, once the smoke stops even with the battery attached, then you know it's time to replace the battery. Would this kit refill the battery, and is this smoke the same used to cloud the Lucas mirrors?
A: Actually, "Smoke and Mirrors" (Luddite Press, 1947) was Dr. Heads expose of the failed Lucas/ Raydyot merger of 1946. The battery is actually the "electrical" part of the smoke system. It apparently, according to the latest theories, energizes nanosolenoids in the wiring harness that allow the smoke molecules to flow through the wires. That is why a modern "smokeless" sealed battery will still work in our cars.


Q: Can you get hold of any Clutch Plate smoke? I lost all the smoke from my 1955 Alvis clutch on a steep hill in Yorkshire yesterday and now it wont accelerate properly. I know its a long shot, but you could have contacts.
A: You might check with Aaron Couper at Couper's Classic Cars in West Pawlet, Vermont. He stocks Alvis clutch smoke, or so I've heard.


Q: I've upgraded quite a bit of the wiring in my MGB to newer wires, modern sealed connectors, blade type fuses, and modern switches but I still have quite a lot of the original wiring in place as well. Will the newer wiring interfere with the proper retention of the original Lucas smoke and operation of the original circuits? I'm worried that it might block the smoke.
A: Technically, you now own an MGB/Miata hybrid, but the elimination of Lucas connectors and switches, artfully done, will usually just speed the flow of the smoke to its ultimate destination- the atmosphere.


Q: Will you ship to the UK? As you can imagine, the amount of Lucas smoke that has inadvertently escaped over the years is far too great to be replaced - it forms a constant gray blanket in the sky that some people mistake for clouds and generally bland weather - but this could be just the ticket to prevent further loss.
Jun-08-05
A: Perhaps I should leak-test my unit. That could explain what passes for summer around here, as well. Thanks for the insight

 

[Charlie Farley]

* stop press*

think you are building a 100% authentic gt40..
You need authentic le mans 1966 air.
Available in both dunlop & firestone varieties..

 

[Rick Muck- Mark IV]

Don't waste your money on new old stock Lucas smoke, we are working on a new digital replacement smoke that will fry your system in less than half the time and be even more acrid!!!

 

[Andrew Komosa]

Mark.. sorry but the digitised replica smoke won't work, as it would be akin to attempting to simulate the smell of Castrol R with some modern synthetic rubbish.. Andrew

 

[Andrew Komosa]

Andy... does this smoke kit work with Boeing 707 wiper motors as used in Mk IIs and is the period air you're selling, top air or bottom air? I ask because my period Dunlop crossply racers have lost their bottom air. Could I part exchange some of my 45 year old top air for some of your bottom air? I await your response, at your earliest convenience.. Andrew

 

[Andrew Komosa]

While on the subject- I thought I'd be clever and turned one of those period Dunlops around 180 degrees, but the now bottom air just went to the top, leaving me still short of bottom air. Clever stuff this air!

 

[Graham]

Andy, made me chuckle. Very clever

I Love it - keep it coming guys