Bring back the sting in the Paddock.

[Pete McCluskey.]

For years the Paddock was the first place I visited, the joke thread was firing, you could rely on the Dilemma thread to get your juices flowing.
Lonesome Bob, Larry, Jim Craik, Jeff and Co gave me an insight and an understanding of American politics that I have never before had.
David was incisive and to the point and could be relied upon to recommend an out of the way fine restaurant to the weary traveller. Molleur, Jimbo and Doc supplied some balance, and Keith well was Keith.

Today the paddock is a watered down almost P.C. shadow of its former self. Like a Chinese meal served in Manhattan rather than Beijing.
Come on you Woggs BRING Back the Biff and Argy Bargy... :evil:

 

[Keith]

:furious::furious:Fuck off Pete. :furious:

 

[Ian Anderson]

Adult Riddles





Q. What's the height of conceit?


A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?


A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?


A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?


A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. Why is divorce so expensive?


A. Because it's worth it!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What is a Yankee?


A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?


A. They both like a tight seal.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?


A. Their balls are just for decoration.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?


A. About three inches.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?


A. The grip.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?


A. It's not hard.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?


A: 45 pounds.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?


A: 45 minutes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?


A: Breasts don't have eyes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?


A: Six inches is medium, nine inches is rare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A . They don't have balls to scratch!




Being PC I cannot put this in the Jokes thread because it is entitled riddles!

 

[Pat]

Today the paddock is a watered down almost P.C. shadow of its former self. Like a Chinese meal served in Manhattan rather than Beijing.
Come on you Woggs BRING Back the Biff and Argy Bargy... :evil:

You're absolutely right Pete, it's a shame but it is what it is. It's a interesting study as to the forum's waning candor and participation.

 

[Keith]

Adult Riddles





Q. What's the height of conceit?


A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?


A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?


A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?


A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. Why is divorce so expensive?


A. Because it's worth it!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What is a Yankee?


A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?


A. They both like a tight seal.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?


A. Their balls are just for decoration.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?


A. About three inches.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?


A. The grip.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?


A. It's not hard.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?


A: 45 pounds.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?


A: 45 minutes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?


A: Breasts don't have eyes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?


A: Six inches is medium, nine inches is rare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A . They don't have balls to scratch!




Being PC I cannot put this in the Jokes thread because it is entitled riddles!

That's not even funny. Fuck off Ian....:thumbsdown:

 

[Robert May Eng.]

Pompous, egotistical , infantile bunch of feckers the lot of you. But its good here innit :thumbsup:

Bob

 

[Jack]

Improving already! But I don't give a shit...

 

[Ian Anderson]

Improving already! But I don't give a shit...

Constipated?
You should take something for that

 

[Jack]

My John Wayne coffee will take care of that.
"Strong enough to float a pistol, pilgrim".

 

[Keith]

Pompous, egotistical , infantile bunch of feckers the lot of you. But its good here innit :thumbsup:

Bob

Ha! You know what you can do with yourself dontcha? :furious:

No. This isn't working. I think Pete wants a more intellectual debate, but we've done all the usual stuff to death. Trouble is, it seems all WOGGS think alike, and they've clearly seen off the opposition - there's nary a graph or a chart to be seen, and I kinda miss that too.

I think it's cyclic - when the sh1T really hits the fan in the Middle East (and it will) - there will be plenty to talk about.

In the mean time, I am reading up on Marx and Engels, and you know? I find it very very compelling.

.

 

[Jack]

What? No Goodwin and Proudhon? Need balance Keith!

 

[Keith]

Balance? In the Paddock? WTF?:stunned:

 

[Larry L.]

...and they've clearly seen off the opposition - there's nary a graph or a chart to be seen...

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

'Blew orange juice out my nose on that one!

 

[Jack]

Balance? In the Paddock? WTF?:stunned:

Yes Keith, with the fulcrum far away from the WOGG end!

 

[Keith]

Here ya go Pete. It was a tough one - but we got there.....

[ame]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pFKCGnkR8Xw[/ame]

 

[David Morton]

Eeee what a prat. Most North Easteners, of which I am one, would not even cross the Tyne foot bridge with the promise of a free ticket. Anyway he never seems to play Newcastle any more.

 

[Keith]

Completely agree David.....but Pete wanted more Sting in the Paddock.. What was I to do? :shrug:

 

[Robert May Eng.]

Completely agree David.....but Pete wanted more Sting in the Paddock.. What was I to do? :shrug:

Give the whinging stralian what he wants :evil:

Bob


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmDQiL3UNj4]The Sting (10/10) Movie CLIP - It's Close (1973) HD - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Keith]

Oh yeah! Pete's rocking now, for sure! :laugh:

Oh, whingeing Stralian... Now you've done it... :worried:

 

[Keith]

I know what's wrong down there. Pete's cold - that's what it is.. Tomorrow morning it'll be, what, 4 degrees? That's quite enough to make an old grumpy white guy more than a bit fractious. The old bones creaking and cracking, joints stiff and unyielding. Must be hell.

Here in God's Country, it's a balmy 26 degrees with a lovely cool breeze straight off the sea. Exactly the weather you would expect for the Righteous.

The sailing will be good this weekend and unusually, I feel quite good so I 'm going for a beer and a barbie later at the local pub. (Must remember to sit upwind, else it'll be my last one ever)

By the by, I hope you warm up soon Pete...