UK Election: A new twist on the Ant & the Grasshopper...

[Keith]

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. The BBC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

Britain is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on News Night with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green ...'
"Occupy the Anthill" stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film a group from the Labour Party singing, "We
shall overcome."

The Archbishop of Cantaloup has the group kneel down to pray for the
grasshopper while he condemns the ant's insensitivity.
Ed Milliband (Very Old Labour) jumps on the photo opportunity and also
condemns the ant, but blames David Cameron, George Osborne and Margaret Thatcher for the grasshopper's plight.

Nichola Sturgeon (Seriously Nasty Party and leader of the Scottish Assembly)says this could never happen in Scotland , and it won't happen again in England if Ed will let her make the rules... even though she's ineligible to sit in Parliament!

Nigel Farage (United Kingdom Insect Party) says this is the type of
opportunity that opportunist migrant bugs will seize upon and that we should really be spraying the Channel Tunnel with bug spray.

Polly Toynbee and Vanessa Redgrave exclaim in an interview on BBC News that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant-hill mansion to make him pay his fair
share.

Finally the EU intervenes and drafts the Economic Equity For Grasshopper's
Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs while constructing his
ant-hill and, having nothing left to pay fines and taxes, his home is
confiscated and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading buddies
holding a party and finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the
government house he is in, which as you recall just happens to be the ant's
old house, crumbles around them because the lack of maintenance.

The ant disappears into the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead from obesity and his new found chum, Kermit the Frog, can't even be bothered to attend the funeral. The Ant-hill, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of eastern European spiders who terrorize the once prosperous neighbourhood. The entire Nation collapses bringing down the rest of the free world with it because Grasshoppers and Spiders are not entrepreneurs - they are just opportunists.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote (and you can never trust a singing frog).

 

[Jack]

Well said Keith. We should heed the advice here as well.

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Many a true word spoken in jest. It seems that the U.K. Like Australia has a plague of grasshoppers.

 

[Ian Anderson]

Borrowed from elsewhere

 

[Glenn M]

Ian that is simply brilliant!

 

[Grady]

Their spawn are seen nightly on the streets of Baltimore burning their neighborhoods.
Are there other fables that need updating?

 

[Charlie Farley]

As seen in Belfast Northern Ireland during the troubles.
Always seemed an own goal to me, burning down your local supermarket, post office, electricity substation. Woke up in the morning to suddenly realise you had fucked yourself....
Is it a chromosome issue ?

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Labor is the Aussie left wing socialist party.

 

[Doug S.]

Ya just gotta pity someone who has her priorities SO WRONG!

I agree...give her more aid, she'll use the extra $$ to go back to school, get smarter, and realize the error of her ways....change her life for the better and become a contributor to the tax rolls rather than draining the coffers as a collector of benefits.

...at, least, that's the word on the street, right? :stunned:

Cheers!

Doug

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

So perceptive of you Doug, why didn't I think of that?
Keith I am told that Subway in England have removed bacon and ham from their menus so not to offend Muslims. Please tell me that is not true. If it is true all hardware stores should remove timber and nails from their stores so they don't offend Christians.
I also heard that the labour party has vowed to make Islamaphobia a crime if elected.. WTF?

 

[Grady]

Listening to the BBC radio early this morning (0800 GMT or so), I was entertained by a portion of the two candidates answering questions 'live'. The one thing different were the people asking the questions. The VOTERS. The questions were not soft and easily on the candidates and seemed based on a distrust of politicians. They vented their frustrations. Have at 'em.

 

[Doug S.]

So perceptive of you Doug, why didn't I think of that?

Sarcasm...only one of the many fine services I offer. :laugh:

I see that you offer the same service, Pete! :idea:

Cheers!

Doug

 

[Keith]

So perceptive of you Doug, why didn't I think of that?
Keith I am told that Subway in England have removed bacon and ham from their menus so not to offend Muslims. Please tell me that is not true. If it is true all hardware stores should remove timber and nails from their stores so they don't offend Christians.
I also heard that the labour party has vowed to make Islamaphobia a crime if elected.. WTF?

'Tis true I'm afraid Pete, but it's not a problem, at least not for me.. People will vote with their feet. It's a commercial decision and quite a strange one given the demographics. So, they didn't want to alienate a small segment of their customer base and risk pissing off the major part? I personally don't get it but perhaps they have perceived that most won't give a toss.

We'll see...

After all, the People Get what the People Deserve.. No?

Subway removes pork from stores after 'strong demand' from Muslims | Daily Mail Online

 

[Keith]

Listening to the BBC radio early this morning (0800 GMT or so), I was entertained by a portion of the two candidates answering questions 'live'. The one thing different were the people asking the questions. The VOTERS. The questions were not soft and easily on the candidates and seemed based on a distrust of politicians. They vented their frustrations. Have at 'em.

Interesting observation. Whilst it's true that some of our politicians have been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, this is by no means true of the majority. The media, on the other hand, have had a field day with sowing seeds of mistrust these past 10 years. The unfortunate result is a breakdown of trust so much so that to be called a politician these days is tantamount to an insult.

I firmly believe that as a result, big business now wields more power than Parliament and perhaps this was the objective all along.

To me, this is dangerous territory for democracy..

Be warned and be careful what you wish for....

 

[Doug S.]

I was just thinking about this...Subway removed the pork because of "strong demand" from the Muslims....first of all, what's wrong with the Muslim population just exercising a little bit of restraint and not ordering the pork offerings? Is there something in their religion like "kosher" in the Jewish religion that prohibits the Muslims from eating anything that has even touched pork? And, what about the multitude of people Subway may have alienated by removing pork from their menu? Are those people not target customers for Subway, too? Do they not outnumber the Muslims?

IF it's so easy to get the Muslims to become unhappy just by having pork products around, shouldn't we just get the message. Me, I'd rather have the pork products and see the jihadists have to relocate...and now I've just insulted every Muslim who is not a jihadist

Well, it just seems to me we're trying to please the wrong people...but, what do I know?

Cheers!

Doug

 

[Keith]

It's a rather strange decision I admit but, one has to remember that this is an American run company and their business culture may be a little different from ours. Strange also is the fact that 99% of the nation's kebab shops (many of which sell pork products and there's one or two next to every pub!) are owned and run by members of the Turkish community the majority of whom are..........??????

Answers on pitta bread with hot sauce and jalapenos please...

 

[Jack]

Pork fat rules! More bacon please...

 

[Larry L.]

Banning pork is just one of their dictates.

Sharia Law reportedly has been established in Dearborn, Michigan and Irving, Texas.

People had better start waking up "quick, fast, and in a hurry". (Maj. Payne)

 

[Keith]

That's interesting. I would have thought somewhere in Kaliforn-i-a would have been the first..

 

[Jim Rosenthal]

I have to tell you, I'm Jewish, and I don't give a fuck if Subway serves pork in their stores. People who don't want to eat in a place that serves pork have a right to go elsewhere. Or they can start their own fucking chain of sandwich shops. I guess I'm a bad Jew. But I'm a much worse Muslim. LOL