Limericks anyone?

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2015

It's that time of year.

I'll start....

On the breasts of a barmaid from Yale,
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
The same information in Braille.

.............

IanAnderson · Mar 9, 2015

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude
Saw a man come along
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2015

Excellent Ian!

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
Complacently stroking his Madam
And great was his mirth
For on all of this earth
There were only two balls,
And he 'ad 'em....

More! More!

IanAnderson · Mar 9, 2015

There was a young harlot from Kew
All the positions she knew
And now the young lass
Who has a gorgeous ass
Will now teach the Karma Sutra to you

molleur · Mar 9, 2015

There was a young lass from Mobile,
who's thing was made out of steel.
She only got thrills from rotary drills,
and an off-center emery wheel.

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2015

molleur said:
There was a young lass from Mobile,
who's thing was made out of steel.
She only got thrills from rotary drills,
and an off-center emery wheel.

:lol:

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2015

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w

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oNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w

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ontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]-->Said a nun as the bishop withdrew,
"This must be our final adieu,
For the vicar is thicker,
And quicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you."

Nick Brough · Mar 9, 2015

I must go down to the sea again,
To the lonely sea and the sky,
I left my shoes and socks there're,
I wonder if there dry.

There was a young lad called John Fred,
Who constantly stood on his head,
When the barber said how,
Shall I cut your hair now,
He replied "cut my toe nails instead"

Mary had a little lamb,
It used to jump and frolic,
One day it jumped a five bar gate,
And landed on it's.......head

brianstewart · Mar 9, 2015

There was a young lady named Claire
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought
Until one got caught
On a thorn and began losing air.

JeffYoung · Mar 9, 2015

American politics suck
It really is boring as fuck
It's cars we should discuss
Rather than bother and fuss
And wallow like pigs in the muck

Pete · Mar 9, 2015

There was a young girl from Devises
who's breasts were
Two different sizes
One was small
Hardly any use at all
The other was huge
And won prizes.

Pete · Mar 9, 2015

There was a young chap from Kent
Who's tool was exceedingly bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in doubled
And instead of cumming he went.

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2015

Pete said:
There was a young girl from Devises
who's breasts were
Two different sizes
One was small
Hardly any use at all
The other was huge
And won prizes.

That was absolutely my mother's favourite Pete, and she told it wherever she went whoever she met. Incessantly back to front usually, dear woman, 99 years young. RIP.

molleur · Mar 9, 2015

jeffyoung said:
american politics suck
it really is boring as fuck
it's cars we should discuss
rather than bother and fuss
and wallow like pigs in the muck

priceless!

Pete · Mar 9, 2015

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint

Bob H · Mar 9, 2015

There once was a fellow called God,
who everybody thought rather odd,
Apart from one lady called Maureen O'Grady,
who worshipped the ground that he trod.

marcus · Mar 10, 2015

There once was a rear tire sliding,
slippery as a good condom gliding,
now all hands on deck,
as the Duc is a wreck,
to repair it for going on riding.

molleur · Mar 10, 2015

Like that one Marcus, thanks.

Keith1 · Mar 11, 2015

Young Marc rode a Ducat in Spain
For fun it was said, not for gain
In the blink of an eye, the Eytie threw him high
And right now he is howling in pain…

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flatchat · Mar 11, 2015

There was a young man from Horsham
Who took off his balls to Warsh 'em
His mother said, Jack, if you don't put em back
I'll jump on 'em and Squarsh 'em

Limericks anyone?

Keith

Ian Anderson

Keith

Ian Anderson

Jack

Keith

Keith

Nick

Brian Stewart

Jeff Young

Pete McCluskey.

Pete McCluskey.

Keith

Jack

Pete McCluskey.

Bob Halsall

Marcus

Jack

Keith

flatchat(Chris)

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