Nine Thoughts to Ponder

[Al Wohlstrom]

Nine Thoughts to Ponder





Number 9-


Death is the number 1 killer in the world.





Number 8-


Life is sexually transmitted.





Number 7-


Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.





Number 6-


Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.





Number 5-


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.





Number4-


Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.





Number 3-


All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.





Number2-


In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.





Number 1-


Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.





...and as someone recently said to me:





Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

 

[Larry L.]

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

That's what concerns me presently...:stunned:

 

[Al Wohlstrom]

It will quicker than you think!

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Stop it you guys:stunned:

 

[Larry L.]

It will quicker than you think!

I take it you've already been thru it, then???! :stunned:



('Sorry, Pete!)

 

[Jack]

A woman went through a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of
their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow,
just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we
are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be
a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another
miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine
didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and
celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half
the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes
the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back
to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Adam ate the apple, too! Men will never learn!

 

[Al Wohlstrom]

I take it you've already been thru it, then???! :stunned:



('Sorry, Pete!)

No , I referring to that the older you get the quicker the time passes.