CASH MACHINES

I am saying nothing.....

-------------------------------PRESS RELEASE---------------------------------
Halifax Building Society is very pleased to announce that they are installing new "Drive Thru" Cash Dispensers.

To enable customers to gain maximum benefit from this new facility they have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.

AS FOLLOWS:

Procedures for MALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off

Procedures for FEMALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press "cancel", and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of chequebook
19. Re-check make-up
20. Drive forward 2 metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake.
 
Ken,

Customers in GT40:

Drive up to cash machine as close as possible
Open window flap
Try to put card through window - give up
Open door
Try to reach around door - give up
Stop engine
Undo 5 point harness
Stand in seat and squeeze through roof - give up
Re-attach 5 point harness
Disengage immobiliser
Restart engine
Line of women drivers behind blaring horns!!!

Cheers, must forward your story to the women at work - NOT!!
 
Ken...
I think you left something out between 13 and 14
Turn around to discipline rowdy kids in rear seat.
Look for DVD to keep kids busy.
And last but not least...Answer cell phone and have 15 minute conversation
Very funny post
Cheers /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
 
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