Quite funny.................

[David Morton]

There's always one. This has got to be one of the
funniest things in a long

time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not
fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help
you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like
now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you
get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around
the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor
and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back
there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power...................................... A power failure?

Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have
the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system
and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own
a computer!!!!!" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif

 

[DavidTC]

Umh, I fell asleep before I reached the punch line; how long did it take you to type this 'guff' in !.

 

[David Morton]

Typing is a thing I don't do.
I go to bed early as well. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/zzzzz.gif