Global "Warming" in a Sporting Context

Professor Plumpe

School for Scandal
People in Southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

Cars in the South of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

Microbial life starts to disappear
The sheep in Aberdeen complain about farmers with cold hands

All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

Hell freezes over
Scotland will support England in the World cup

Dave Bilyk

Bronze Supporter
Very funny Keith,
loved the punch line:) Must send that to my Scottish pals and see what they say about that!
Young men up here do tend to remove their shirts at the first hint of sunshine regardless of temperature.

I saw a documentary last week about hottest and coldest inhabited places, coldest temperature was -62degC somewhere in Siberia, the kids don't need to go to school if the temperature drops below -52degC!
Of course you must be ok in the cold cos your Hardy too! groan:cheesy: