Global "Warming" in a Sporting Context

Professor Plumpe

School for Scandal
#1
50°F
People in Southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

40°F
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35°F
Cars in the South of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20°F
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15°F
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

0°F
Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-10°F
Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80°F
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100°F
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

-173°F
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-297°F
Microbial life starts to disappear
The sheep in Aberdeen complain about farmers with cold hands

-460°F
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-500°F
Hell freezes over
Scotland will support England in the World cup
 

Dave Bilyk

Bronze Supporter
#2
Very funny Keith,
loved the punch line:) Must send that to my Scottish pals and see what they say about that!
Young men up here do tend to remove their shirts at the first hint of sunshine regardless of temperature.

I saw a documentary last week about hottest and coldest inhabited places, coldest temperature was -62degC somewhere in Siberia, the kids don't need to go to school if the temperature drops below -52degC!
Of course you must be ok in the cold cos your Hardy too! groan:cheesy:

Dave
 
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