New Game "

[Pete McCluskey.]

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Subject: Announcement by the RUDD Federal Government
Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of : <o></o>

'ASYLUM'
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: <o></o>​

Hop on a boat <o></o>​

And win <o></o>​

A FREE HOUSE! <o></o>​

We've already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, <o></o>​

The Australian Taxpayer. <o></o>​

And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. <o></o>​

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid Australian Passport, and you only need one word of English: <o></o>​

'ASYLUM' <o></o>​

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at $800 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights. <o></o>​

This competition is open to everyone
buy a ticket to Indonesia <o></o>​

And catch the first available boat. <o></o>​

No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable. <o></o>​

All you have to do is destroy all your papers or burn your boat once you <o></o>​

enter Australian waters and remember the magic password: <o></o>​

'ASYLUM' <o></o>​

A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1lace></st1:country-region> were flown Goat Class from Kabul to Indonesia’s gateway where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their boat trips to luxury accommodation. <o></o>​

They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Australia</st1lace></st1:country-region> . <o></o>​

Our most popular destinations also include the Baxters Reef and the world famous <st1lace w:st="on">Christmas Island</st1lace> Resort. <o></o>​

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience <o></o>​

Just apply for legal aid. <o></o>​

Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. <o></o>​

It won't cost you a penny. <o></o>​

It could change your life forever .
So play today. <o></o>​

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas... <o></o>​

COME ON DOWN! <o></o>​

Get along to the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Indonesia</st1lace></st1:country-region> fishing ports <o></o>​

Don't stop in Thailand or Bali <o></o>​

Go straight to Australia <o></o>​

And you are: <o></o>​

GUARANTEED <o></o>​

to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth. <o></o>​

Everyone's a winner, when they play <o></o>​

'ASYLUM' <o></o>​

Thank you Mr. RUDD!!!! <o></o>​

<o></o>​

<o></o>
<o></o>
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