The PC madness thread!

Pete McCluskey.

Lifetime Supporter
As prompted by Keith's amazing photo of trapped African miners post your examples of Politically Correct madness here. I'll kick it off with this gem.

last week an instruction went out to Qld schools and Government departments not to refer to blackboards and whiteboards as such, but call them imagination boards or thought boards.
 

Pete McCluskey.

Lifetime Supporter
Hehehehe too late.

Politically correct fairy tale



There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hill who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them.

Red Riding Hill lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.

One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house. "But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people who have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between various people in the woods?"

Red Riding Hill's mother assured her that she had called the union boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.

"But mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?" Red Riding Hill's mother pointed out that it was impossible for women to oppress each other, since all women were equally oppressed until all women were free.

"But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the basket, since he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be oppressed?"

And Red Riding Hill's mother explained that her brother was attending a special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn't stereotypical women's work, but an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling of community.

"But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she's sick and hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?"

But Red Riding Hill's mother explained that her grandmother wasn't actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way, although that was not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior to what some people called "health". Thus Red Riding Hill felt that she could get behind the idea of delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.

Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place, but Red Riding Hill knew that this was an irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable competitors. Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Red Riding Hill felt that in a truly classless society all marginalized peoples would be able to "come out" of the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.

On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hill passed a woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in order to examine some flowers. She was startled to find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. Red Riding Hill's teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she was confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and chose to dialogue with the Wolf.

She replied, "I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks in a gesture of solidarity."

The Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hill said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop an alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my way."

Red Riding Hill returned to the main path, and proceeded towards her Grandmother's house. But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house.

He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action affirmative of his nature as a predator. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma's nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited developments.

Red Riding Hill entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in your role of wise and nurturing matriarch."

The Wolf said softly "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hill said, "Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!"

"You forget that I am optically challenged."

"And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have."

"Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child."

"And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!"

The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed, grabbed Little Red Riding Hill, and opened his jaws so wide that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hill bravely shouted. "You must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of intimacy!"

The Wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened his grasp on her. At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage, brandishing an ax.

"Hands off!" cried the woodchopper.

"And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red Riding Hill. "If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of confidence in my own abilities, which would lead to poor self esteem and lower achievement scores on college entrance exams."

"Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species! This is an FBI sting!" screamed the woodchopper, and when Little Red Riding Hill nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.

"Thank goodness you got here in time," said the Wolf. "The brat and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner."

"No, I think I'm the real victim, here," said the woodchopper. "I've been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those protected flowers earlier. And now I'm going to have such a trauma. Do you have any aspirin?"

"Sure," said the Wolf.

"Thanks."

"I feel your pain," said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said "Do you have any Maalox?"

Of course the author has also erred in calling MS Riding Hill (she changed her name from Hood to Hill for obvious reasons.) Little. Much more appropiate would have been to refer to her as vertically challenged.
 
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Keith

Moderator
You da man Big Mac. :)

Do you think we should display a disclaimer before Mad Morton gets here? :uneasy:
 

Keith

Moderator
OK. It's hereby disclaimed.

Where Eagles Dare

The magnificent totally ruthless Bald Eagle symbol of America's Freedom


E1.jpg



The elegant and equally powerful Golden Eagle:

E2.jpg


But when we talk about Eagles...

E3.jpg


Nothing, but nothing compares with the good old Austrilian Spread Eagle...

E4.jpg


Sorry Ron, Pete & Dave made me do it.

I like this thread already.. :)
 

Pete McCluskey.

Lifetime Supporter
PC terminology explained.

aesthetically challenged - ugly
aquatically challenged - drowning
biologically challenged - dead
blubber lovers - whaler
bovine control officers - Dallas Cowboys
Caucasian Culturally-Disadvantaged - white trash
certified astrological consultant - crackpot
certified crystal therapist - crackpot
certified past-life regression hypnotist - crackpot
chemically challenged - drug addict
chronologically gifted - old
client of the correctional system - prisoner
co-dependent - finger-pointer
constructivist feminist psychotherapy - psychobabble
creatively re-dyed - stained
cyclically challenged - having PMS
differently organized - messy
differently-brained - stupid
domestic engineer - housewife
economically marginalized - poor
energy-efficient - off
environmentally correct human - dead
ethnically homogenous area - ghetto or barrio
facially challenged - ugly
factually unencumbered - ignorant
female gender biased - prefers women who shave their legs
financially inept - po'
flight attendant - stewardess
follicley independent - bald
genetically discriminating - racist
geological correction - earthquake
gerontologically advanced - old
government employee - stupid
grammatically challenged - one who has difficulties with grammar or (by
extension) punctuation or spelling
gravitationally challenged - fat
horizontally challenged - thin
horizontally gifted - fat
in denial - unaware that forgetting something obviously proves it
happened
in recovery - drunk/junkie
intellectually impaired - stupid
law enforcement officer - policeman
living impaired - dead
maintenance hole - man-hole
male gender biased - prefers men who shave their chests
mechanically challenged - broken down automobile
melanin-impoverished - white
metabolically challenged - dead
microslothically challenged - Windows user
monetarily challenged - poor
morally (ethically) challenged - a crook
morally handicapped - someone who has no other reason to park in a
handicapped zone
motivationally dispossessed - lazy
musically delayed - tone deaf
nasally disadvantaged - really BIG nose
nasally gifted - runny nose
nasally gifted - large nose
nitpicklike - humor challenged
one who is PC - target practice
ontologically challenged - fictional or mythological
osmotically challenged - thirsty
outdoor urban dwellers - homeless
parking enforcement adjudicator- meter maid
people of height - too tall
person of region - redneck
person of substance - fat
persons living with entropy - dead
persons of large stature - NY Giants
petroleum transfer technician - gas station attendant
photonically non-receptive - blind
racially challenged - butt-white American
residentially flexible - homeless
rhythmically challenged - white boy
romantically challenged - not with somebody at the moment
rustically inclined - redneck
sanitation engineer - garbage man
selectively perceptive - insane
sex care provider - prostitute
sexually focused chronologically gifted individual - dirty old man
socially challenged - geek or nerd
socially separated - convict
spatially perplexed - drunk
street activity index - crime rate
structurally challenged - broken
suffering from a sex addiction (female) - slut
suffering from a sex addiction (male) - stud
target equity group - vocal minority
the absolute root of all evil known in the multidimensional infinity of
reality - white male
uniquely coordinated - clumsy
uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path - loser
verbally challenged - mute, dumb
vertically challenged - short
visually challenged - blind
youth group - gang
 

Pete McCluskey.

Lifetime Supporter
Home Office minister John Denham has been criticised by the police for using the phrase "nitty gritty" because of race relations rules.

Mr Denham used the phrase during a debate at the Police Federation conference in Bournemouth.
He was told that police officers could face disciplinary charges for saying "nitty gritty" because it dates from the slavery era. Some rank-and-file officers say the rules about language have become "a minefield" and have made them inhibited in doing their job

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/nitty-gritty.html
 

David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
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Peter Davies, the anti-PC Mayor, needs your help!

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Peter Davies, the directly elected Mayor of Doncaster, has become the latest victim of political correctness - yet, ironically, this has come about as he is doing his level best to get rid of political correctness.

Peter is being subjected to an unpleasant investigation following a complaint from just one person suggesting that his plans to remove as much political correctness as is legally possible could "incite racial hatred". There is no foundation whatsoever in this accusation and it is likely that many thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money in Doncaster has already been spent dealing with this one complaint.

We urgently need your help to stop this going any further. Please would you:

1. Sign the online Campaign Against Political Correctness petition in his support here.

2. Forward this FreeMail newsletter to your friends, colleagues and family and encourage them to support Peter too.

Both The Freedom Association and our good friends and allies at the Campaign Against Political Correctness really need your help to support the Mayor, who is trying to stand up for the 80% of people in Britain who oppose political correctness, including all those from minority groups who do not want it to go on in their name.

Kind regards,

Simon Richards
Director
The Freedom Association
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Become a Member of The Freedom Association


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David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
Racism storm over £38,000 ‘Indians-only’ job advert

<SCRIPT src="http://scripts.dailymail.co.uk/js/diggthis.js" type=text/javascript></SCRIPT>
By Daily Mail Reporter


Last updated at 8:48 AM on 18th March 2010
article-1258818-01A4076B00000578-967_233x423.jpg
'Racist': Conservative MP David Davis condemned the advert, which said it preferred applicants of Indian origin​



A racism inquiry was under way last night after a firm advertised a £38,000-a-year job for someone 'preferably of Indian origin'.

The advert was placed on a popular recruitment website on behalf of a computer company based in Britain and India.

It stated: 'Minimum six years of experience in IT . . . The person should be a UK citizen with security clearance from the UK Government. Preferably of Indian origin.'

The advert was removed last night from the website as the Equality and Human Rights Commission launched an investigation.

The wording was condemned by Conservative MP David Davies.

He said: 'It is quite clearly racist. I call on the EHRC to show resolute action in dealing with cases of anti-British discrimination.'

The advert, for the Bristol-based post at technology company Torry Harris, was spotted by IT consultant Vince Silva of Chepstow, Gwent.

He said: 'I have never seen a recruitment advert like this before, and think it is appalling job applicants could be discriminated against in this way.

'It raises a wider question about the way in which some big companies in Britain are bringing in IT workers from abroad instead of recruiting them here.'

Recruitment agency McGregor-Boyall Associates said the advert had been placed in error.

Spokesman Farhaan Majid said: 'This is a mistake. I put the advert through like this when I shouldn't have done.'

He added: 'Some companies prefer to employ people of Indian origin because they are immediately available and don't mind moving.

'Often people in Britain . . . have mortgages and don't want to move.'
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What a crock of bullshit. If I tried this I would be locked up. Dave M
 

Ian Anderson

Lifetime Supporter
I must sat I liked what I heard on the radio today

They are suggesting lifting the upper age for Jurors to 90

Older folk will take more of a dim view of the "he didn't know what he was doing" crap

Ian
 

Keith

Moderator
IMMIGRATION LANGUAGE TEST

I had an idea that immigration officials should consider when judging whether immigrants have sufficient grasp of English to be permitted to work in any country that has English as the First Language (that excludes the USA of course - Hola guys! :laugh:)

It is the incredibly versatile word 'UP'

If any immigrant understands the full use of this word, they should be given a free house. Mmmm - frowns - no, they get that already... :thumbsdown:

Well, here goes nothing:

ENGLISHImmigrant Test

This two-letter English word has more meanings than any other word, It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

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P><P style=
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends a n d we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this up is confusing:<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now .......my time is UP, so time to shut UP!

One more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
<o:p></o:p>

G E T U P :laugh3:

So, what do you think? Will this keep the numbers down or, put them UP? :lol:

<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
 

David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
Here is the UK we have been suffering from lengthy roadworks especially on one of the accesses into London namely the M40 and the new bridge construction and road widening around Acton. This area is also under the influence of a notoriously PC council called Brent. Remeber this name Brent. It crops up time and time again in the London area as being ruled by a load of lefty asian and carribean PC lesbian disabled religious wannabees.
Part of this construction (it's taken two years+) is a pedestian bridge and the access to this bridge has a zig zag ramp for wheel chairs and which probably cost in the region of over £1m - to close the road every night and divert the traffic and build the thing. Nothing wrong with wheel chair access I here you say - and I agree with you [I might be in need of one, one day ], but it is obviously too steep for anything but a highly 'powered wheelchair' and have I ever seen a pedestrian, let alone a wheel chair, crossing the road at this point . No. It's quite a long way awayfrom any meaningful pedestrian areas. The area is left with this rather elegant bridge spoiled by approximately five lengthy ziz zag ramps on either side. PC in action but at what price to the rest of us having endured all the traffic delays for the last 2 years.
Brent also started rebuilding some of the council housing stock to the west of the White City Estate (Along with Brixton and Camberwell a notoriously dangerous place to go at night unless you are brandishing a machine gun) and some of this development is directly along side this busy A40.
Maybe some of you who drive into and out of London have seen this development - It is easily recognizeable as 4 blocks of lowrise with about 20 m of glass between each
block, the glass which covers a spiral ramp - again for the wheel chair acess. Now - I heard through a reliable grapevine that no disabled people are approved to live in these apartments because of concerns about fire and consequent escape from the balconies of the apartment, and each of these lowrises is equipped with a lift (elevator) anyway so if a disabled comes visiting, they use the lifts anyway. Knowing the Brent CC I would not be suprised that they invent a by-law that the fire brigade must be informed and approve of any visitors in advance.
It was the Brent County Council that approved a transexual to be on the board of govenors for a school in their area and who went under multiple names to conceal previous form (criminal record) for various fraudulent offences. They also paid her (him)[it] in nearly £200,000 in payments for various claims 'it' thought it could get away with.
All these are in the name of Political Correctness in the area of Brent County Coucil,
the most notorious council along with Haringey in London. Some satisfaction at last though. This Trans has been imprisoned for 4 years for fraud. Four years in jail for transsexual ‘countess’ who conned council out of £197,000 | News
It would have been so much funnier if 'it' had been changed into a 'her' beore being sent to prison - presumeably as a 'him'. What a luvverly holiday that would have been. The local prison is Wormwood Scrubs but I don't think 'it' would elect to stay local as the Scrubs is a notorious 'hard man's' holiday home.
Brent Council has to be the most stupid bunch of arseholes ever try and exact their short lived authority in the history of the UK but more incompetants keep getting elected to take their place . They have a reputation of being the most PC as well.
Rant over.....

Right - I'm off into London for a Dim Sum lunch.
 
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