Census Forms

David Morton · Mar 9, 2011

Wordsworth?

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2011

David Morton said:
Wordsworth?

Yesworth.. Lucy Gray in a Solitary Daffodil Cloud

I Wonder....

TA152 · Mar 9, 2011

Dalton said:
Funny thing, we're about to have a census here in Oz. I don't know what they do with the information gathered, but it certainly doesn't get used in planning. It always seems to come as a complete surprise to the Federal Government that the infrastructure has not kept up with the growth in population, the water supply is marginal, the power supply ditto, transport inadequate, roads too narrow with insufficient through roads or ring roads, etc. The required skilled trades and professionals have not been trained in sufficient numbers, and so on. Census? Bah! Humbug!

Who do you think will come visit you if you fail to supply the information but those untrained and unskilled of the population? My garage has five large doors, and because it is well finished, the census people wanted to see the inside and thought people lived there 80 feet from my house. Guess which government section has the approved plans and regularly did their inspections.

We are in trouble here. And yes stupid should be painful.

Neal · Mar 9, 2011

Keith1 said:
Yesworth.. Lucy Gray in a Solitary Daffodil Cloud

I Wonder....

lonely as a cloud. That floats on high o'er vales and hills...

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2011

They seem overly keen to know how many rooms you have vs how many people live in it now vs how many rooms COULD be bedrooms.

I may end up with an Asylum Seeker or three!

I shall rename my house Bedlam.. :laugh:

Gravy · Mar 9, 2011

I still haven't got mine yet. Maybe they've forgotten me....:uneasy:

At least, I hope so...

THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! :shifty:

Keith1 · Mar 9, 2011

It's not YOURS until you put your name on it Graham, until then, it belongs to your HOUSE, so I bet the bricky bugger has gone and hidden it.... :laugh:

Gravy · Mar 9, 2011

Census Shmensus.

As if they would change anything from the result anyway :furious:

Pete · Mar 9, 2011

Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by.She told the Census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy."My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?""Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anaesthesiologist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fO-YXKJzITI&feature=related

Keith1 · Apr 25, 2011

Well, sorry to bring this bugger up again, but I've had my census form returned with a strongly worded Note. (you know the kind, like the one Chamberlain handed Hitler when Adolf invaded Poland - a Note.. should have been 20 armoured divisions, but AH got a Note - that'll tell him)

Anyway, astonishingly they did not approve of my answer although it is perfectly valid in my eyes..<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w

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In answer to the question;
'Do you have any dependants?',

I put:

'Asylum seekers, gypos, smack heads, unemployable bastards, the cast of The Jeremy Kyle Show, Northern Rock, RBS, The Greek economy, Portugal and half of Eastern Europe!'

I am awaiting a knock at the door :worried:

jimbo · Apr 25, 2011

The usual crew of sponges....

iank2112 · Apr 25, 2011

One of my summer jobs whilst I was home from college was door-to-door census taker (basically, we followed up on some forms that either raised some sort of flag or were never returned). I worked with a group of 10 people. By the time we were done, seven had quit (and I picked up their share of forms).

A large portion were vacation homes, but I did have some interesting ones. One guy threatened to shoot me through the door. An older woman was afraid that her gas would get shut off. I actually redrew some maps as well, and noted a few new dwellings and some demolished houses.

Ian

David Morton · Apr 29, 2011

My census for was returned to me this morning.
In answer to the question, Do you have any dependant relatives? I said "ASYLUM SEEKERS, PYKIES, SMACK HEADS, UNEMPLOYABLE LAZY BASTARDS, THE CAST OF THE JEREMY KYLE SHOW, SINGLE TEENAGE MOTHERS, NORTHERN ROCK, RBS, IRELAND, PORTUGAL, GREECE AND HALF OF BLOODY EASTERN EUROPE !"<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /><o></o>
<o></o>
<o></o>
<o></o>
APPARENTLY THIS WASN'T AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER?????<o></o>
<o></o>
Seems reasonable enough to me!<o></o>

Pete · Apr 30, 2011

David Morton said:
My census for was returned to me this morning.
In answer to the question, Do you have any dependant relatives? I said "ASYLUM SEEKERS, PYKIES, SMACK HEADS, UNEMPLOYABLE LAZY BASTARDS, THE CAST OF THE JEREMY KYLE SHOW, SINGLE TEENAGE MOTHERS, NORTHERN ROCK, RBS, IRELAND, PORTUGAL, GREECE AND HALF OF BLOODY EASTERN EUROPE !"<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /><o></o>
<o></o>
<o></o>
<o></o>
APPARENTLY THIS WASN'T AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER?????<o></o>
<o></o>
Seems reasonable enough to me!<o></o>

Seems quite reasonable to me too.

Census Forms

David Morton

Keith

Grady

Neal

Keith

Graham

Keith

Graham

Pete McCluskey.

Keith

Jim Rosenthal

Ian K

David Morton

Pete McCluskey.

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