The way children act today is why most animals eat their young.
Kids are good, if you cook them right! WC fields
Kids are good, if you cook them right! WC fields
Paraprosdokian Competition...
- Thread starter Keith1
- Start date
Jim Rosenthal
Supporter
Ah, W.C. Fields....
"It ain't a fit night out, for man nor beast... think I'll go out back and milk the elk.."
"It ain't a fit night out, for man nor beast... think I'll go out back and milk the elk.."
Jeff Young
GT40s Supporter
You can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first. P.W. Long.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
...and with that last one, I'm leaving!
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
...and with that last one, I'm leaving!
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Jim Rosenthal
Supporter
And another one: the difference between being religious, and being nuts.
If you talk to God, you are religious.
If God talks to you, you are nuts.
If you talk to God, you are religious.
If God talks to you, you are nuts.
