What are your favourite sayings?

[Jim Craik]

Thanks Pete

 

[Keith]

I have never in my lifetime learned anything from a man who agreed with me.

You are so wrong mate....

Anyway, if you really care I will tell you my inspirational favourite line.

Funnily enough - it's another Spike Milligan.

On his headstone it says:

"Told you I was ill"

 

[Jim Craik]

When life gives you melons, you are probably dyslexic.

 

[Mike Pass]

There are three kinds of mathematicians. Those who can add up and those who can't.

Cheers
Mike

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Thanks Pete

You are welcome.

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. Sun Tzu.

 

[craig]

It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married.

 

[Randy V]

There's nothing I can't do... However there are some things I've yet to do..

I am an AmeriCAN not an AmeriCAN'T !!!!

 

[Paul]

Money does not buy you happiness but it make misery more bearable.

 

[Jack]

"Life is like a shit sandwhich." "The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat as you slide down the razor blade of life."

 

[Ian Anderson]

Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat
Sooner or later you are bound to get pissed off
Billy Conolly

 

[Olivier S]

Sorry if the translation isn't perfect...

"Fool me once, shame on you!
Fool me twice, shame on me!"

"If you go to bed with the ass which itches, you'll wake up with stinky fingers!" (yes, I know, very classy...)

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

The most important sex organ is the brain.


If a relationship needs to be kept secret you shouldn't be in it.

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

During a race weekend track time is the most valuable thing there is.

 

[Ricky]

Money wont buy you friends, but it will certainly improve the class of your enemies....

 

[Phil]

Yogi Berra:
"I feel more like I do now than I did when I first got here"
" If you are going nowhere any road will take you there"

Mark Twain:
"Suppose you were a member of congress...suppose you were an idiot...ahh but I repeat myself"
"If don't read the papers you are uninformed...if you read the papers you are misinformed"

Ronald Reagan:
"Before I refuse to take any questions I have a prepared statement"

And my all time favorite
Groucho Marx:
"I refuse to be a member of any club that would have me"

 

[Carl Soares]

'Experience is remembering the Pain.'
- My father tells me this often.

'When life give you lemons, give me a call! I'll bring the salt and tequila.'
- A friend of mine's favorite line.

'Why don't you go away, and play hide and go f**k yourself!'
- ex girlfriend ... yeah.

'Wow! Look at them legs... they've gone and made perfect ass of themselves.'
- My father about my ex girlfriend.

'More than three shakes is a jerk-off!'
- My father telling someone they're taking too long to pee.

 

[Jim Craik]

“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.”
― George W. Bush

GW Bush launches a new book about economic growth........really!

 

[Gary]

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...

Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who run up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Man who run in front of car get tired, man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.


BUT CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...

Lion will not cheat on wife, but Tiger Wood!

 

[Randy V]

Money can't buy love - but it can rent something that looks and feels just like it!