Jokes anyone? -

Larry L.

Lifetime Supporter
As a singer I sing at many funerals & I was recently asked by a funeral director to play & sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery out in the country. As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to sing. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I sang from my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.

As I sang “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my keyboard and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost….
 
Absolutely awful in Skegness today, I would have been shocked without being in lockdown, but this morning I witnessed some totally disgusting behaviour today along the seafront.
A man and a woman were arguing in front of a load of kids. Then the woman smacks him on the head so he hits her back and it all kicks off. The police turn up and the copper ends up using his baton on the man, the man then actually gets the baton off the copper and uses it on the copper and the woman...... Shocking.

Then a crocodile turns up and eats all the sausages!
 

Glenn M

Supporter
Absolutely awful in Skegness today, I would have been shocked without being in lockdown, but this morning I witnessed some totally disgusting behaviour today along the seafront.
A man and a woman were arguing in front of a load of kids. Then the woman smacks him on the head so he hits her back and it all kicks off. The police turn up and the copper ends up using his baton on the man, the man then actually gets the baton off the copper and uses it on the copper and the woman...... Shocking.

Then a crocodile turns up and eats all the sausages!
That's the way to do it!!!
 
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