Jokes anyone? -

Larry L.

Lifetime Supporter
Please delete this if qualifies as a 'no-no'.

'Saw an ad for a T-shirt today that absolutely had me rolling on the floor!
It said:
White, Straight, Republican and Male.
How else can I p--- you off today? (!!!)
 
.
 

Attachments

  • 358540804_611278967769184_1261702559987164902_n.jpg
    358540804_611278967769184_1261702559987164902_n.jpg
    93.4 KB · Views: 149
  • 358633965_692692459535318_834394623020273439_n.jpg
    358633965_692692459535318_834394623020273439_n.jpg
    102.5 KB · Views: 139
  • 349668516_957517475512678_8428279507260317360_n.jpg
    349668516_957517475512678_8428279507260317360_n.jpg
    68.6 KB · Views: 140

Brian Kissel

Staff member
Admin
Lifetime Supporter
Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Diet Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Diet Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Diet Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Diet Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Diet Coke sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but

first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,

your day is coming!
 

Larry L.

Lifetime Supporter
Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Diet Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Diet Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Diet Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Diet Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Diet Coke sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but

first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,

your day is coming!

'Already been there...on more than one occasion!
 
Back
Top