Southampton Boat Show

Keith

Moderator
I always deliver.....

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By the way David, I will be taking my new girlfriend....

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See you Thursday mate... :)
 

David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
A brilliant sojourn - some of these 'boats' are so amazing. A bottomless pit for throwing money into but amazing none the less. And so much crumpet it was difficult for young Keith to keep his mobility scooter from falling off the jetty into Southampton Water.
H.M.S. Bulwark arrived whilst we were swanning around and fired off a 12 gun salute
-which apparently broke a few windows - such an impressive sight. The Royal Navy still know how to cut a dash.
Well done Keith. Really well organised. All I had to do was turn up and everything happened as planned.
 

Keith

Moderator
Talking about "Fast Electric Supercars", I have just returned from the above show which I am very surprised I didn't get chucked out of. Reason?

Mr Morton decided that it was so much fun on a mobility scooter, that donuts and wheelies were the order of the day. Mind you, he broke the first one within an hour and they had to ship him out a new one. Unfortunately, this was a lightweight 3 wheeler that turned in it's own length and went from 0 to "oh shit" in about 3 seconds.

For a trained pilot his scooter control was exemplary and I haven't seen him laugh as much since, well, since I've know him.

Check this out....

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I should point out that currently David finds it hard to walk as he needs a new hip op. After today, I reckon I need new friends.

Then, he discovered a more comfortable way to ride...

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But when I pointed out that his feet became the bumpers, he retracted legs, fast!

He found a built in clock on the instrument panel, removed it changed the time and reinstalled it upside down. Some poor old biddy will miss her tea tomorrow.. :(

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Cheese has been attacked. Thanks David. I actually haven't laughed so much either. One major advantage of mobility scooters is that your head is roughly ass high - which in English means that quite often, you do not wish to overtake!
 

Keith

Moderator
David bought "Latte" which is an Uphill Gardeners drink for sure..

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I told this woman he was my Grandfather... for some reason she found that rather amusing...

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I went to the show a couple of years ago. Saw a boat, went to the Gin Tent, several Gins later, nearly bought a bloody boat! Now that's marketing for you.

I will never attend a boat show again!

Glad you boys had a good time.
 
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Keith

Moderator
Clearly, he's still pissed Graham... :laugh2:

Mark. You would have been fine at this year's show. Gin & Tonic = £9.00 :eek:

You wouldn't have had enough money left to buy the boat's engine...
 
Clearly, he's still pissed Graham... :laugh2:

Mark. You would have been fine at this year's show. Gin & Tonic = £9.00 :eek:

You wouldn't have had enough money left to buy the boat's engine...

Fuckeroo!!! Is it me, or is that disgusting :(

Whya do they charge those prices? Because they can. What happened to making a "reasonable" profit????
 
Clearly, he's still pissed Graham... :laugh2:

Mark. You would have been fine at this year's show. Gin & Tonic = £9.00 :eek:

You wouldn't have had enough money left to buy the boat's engine...

EEK! The year I attended, Tanqueray had a lovely Tent full of totty, with all the Gin Cocktails you could drink for FREE! Definately sponsored by Princess me thinks!

"Stagger this way Sir, I've got something lovely to show you behind these cutains and down the gangway." Ding Dong.
 

Keith

Moderator
HMS Bulwark as referred to in Davids post. The guns you hear firing are the back end of a 12 gun salute. She is a 22,000 ton Assault Ship loaded with tanks, Landing Craft, Marine Commandos and Helos. A real man's toy box!

Please excuse me if the video is poor quality, I filmed it in HD but the file was massive so had to reduce it and his is my first ever attempt at doing this.

The guns don't sound too loud on this but believe me, if you were facing the other way having a quiet chat about rubber dinghies, there would have been a brown trouser moment.. :eek:

HMSBulwark.mp4 video by hard11 - Photobucket
 

David Morton

Lifetime Supporter
In the early 80's I ran a company called Jersey European Airways (Now Flybe) and we used to uplift all our booze from London Stansted for our bond in Jersey. Jon - we used to get 750ml Vodka at 65p and same size Gin (best Gordons) at 90p. Just shows how times have changed - all of the miniatures they gave us for free.
 
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