I was driving to a car show Saturday evening a few miles up the road. I stopped to pick up a buddy on the way. Not five minutes later, he starts moaning about how hungry he was. We had half an hour to kill and I had no intention of turning around, so asked if Dirty Macs (MacDonalds) was ok. He said it was fine and I turned in the parking lot a minute later.
I parked the car as he ran inside and followed shortly after. He was already done with his order, had his number in hand and walking to the drink fountain, when I walked in. I just ordered a drink and we both sat down. The counter kid called his number, so my buddy went up to get his tray. Two Big Mac's, five double cheeseburgers, a large fry, a big box of nuggets and one apple pie ( he ordered a diet Coke, just to be clear here). He put the highly stacked tray down and dug right in.
He looked up with a puzzled look, so I asked him what was wrong. Someone forgot the burger in one of the Big Mac's. He yells out, embarrassing me in the process, "Where's the beef?" (Wow, we are old) The few people around us pretended they heard nothing and tried their best to ignore his outburst, but he continued yelling, until the counter kid came to our table. Soon, he and my buddy we're at the counter arguing, so I got up to calm things down.
The manager had come up front at this point to see what the commotion was and asked me (her son is one of my scouts, so she knows me ) what was going on. "Where's the beef", my buddy says to her while holding up an empty burger. I told her about the burger or lack-there-of, and she apologized for the mistake. She said something through a small opening in the staging area to the cook girl and she began running around the kitchen area. A new Big Mac was placed in my friends happy hands and satisfied, we returned to our table.
When we got to the table, it was occupied by a nasty looking baglady. She was wearing an old tattered shirt, cut off jeans, a Whalers hat and had her huge bag neatly sitting in my chair. She looked up and I explained that this was our table, but we'd be happy to move our stuff to another one. She asked me, "what stuff?" I took a step back to that reply. My buddy did not. He jumped right in with some loud comments and reached down to get his tray. She smacked his hand away. I never saw a man about to cry over food before that moment. I grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
We walked back up to the counter and the kids face suddenly had an expression that looked like terror. He thought there was another burger discrepancy, but we calmed him down and told him what happened. The counter kid thought he could help, so followed us back to the table. He explained to the baglady that the food was purchased by us, but she refused to yeild. He took us back to the counter and ran somewhere in the back bringing the manager back with him.
After explaining the new situation, she led us to our table. She asked the baglady to vacate the table and our food, but she suddenly pulled out our receipts (we left them on the tray, who keeps them?) and said this was her food and had the receipt to prove it. I had to hold my buddy back while she waved them in the air. We were quickly escorted back to the counter and told we would get a replacement order and just let this go. It would also be best to take it to go. We agreed and headed out the door, new food in hand.
My buddy finnished his order in a few minutes (the guy can put it away) and headed inside for a drink refill. As I was playing with the radio, I got startled by a sudden knock on my window. My buddy was jumping up and down like a giddy school girl who just saw Justin Bieber. I opened the door and was pulled back inside MacDonald's. I asked what was going on, but then noticed the large bag, still sitting on my chair from earlier. My buddy sat down and told me to sit also. The baglady was gone, but left her big bag. I lifted it onto the table, it was far heavier than I first had thought and sat myself down where this entire thing started.
Sure enough, the baglady came back to the table. She saw us and quickly reached for her bag. My buddy has huge hands and smacked the table top with a very audible clap. She recoiled, but urged us to give her the bag. My buddy refused and told her it was his.
Frustrated, she went to the counter. We watch he the counter kid walk into the back, trying to hold back a laugh as he went. Soon the manager emerged and headed our way. She too hid a smile and laugh, dying to escape. The manager explained that the big bag belongs to the lady, but my buddy reached into his pocket and produced some sort of receipt and slammed it on the table. He said, "this is my big bag and I have the receipt to prove it." The manager ushered the baglady out and after a few minutes we left.
Of course my buddy carried that big old bag for the entire night. His personal trophy for being a prick, but we'll won.
