Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Beware the wounded Bulldog.
The Ashes.
- Thread starter David Morton
- Start date
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Well the third test starts tomorrow, the English Captain is very concerned that their ace strategist and mentor has apparently disappeared. "We heard a rumour that he had urgent business in Rio and was last seen boarding a flight demanding that several bottles of Krug be put on ice.
Obviously Mr Morton or as we call him sir, or oh wise one, is confident of our success otherwise he wouldn't have buggered off to Rio chasing tarts and working on his suntan.
His strategy of lulling Ortsralya into a false sense of dominance has worked wonderfully well up to now. The Aussie bastards are so cock sure that they are now predicting a five nil white wash as did Botham about us prior to the start of day one.
My problem is I'm not sure what David , sorry sir David wants us to do, and I am hopeless at making decisions strategic or otherwise, suffice to say we are a little lost without the wise one.....If anyone knows how to contact him please ask him to contact me immediately , otherwise all is lost":embarassed::embarassed:
Obviously Mr Morton or as we call him sir, or oh wise one, is confident of our success otherwise he wouldn't have buggered off to Rio chasing tarts and working on his suntan.
His strategy of lulling Ortsralya into a false sense of dominance has worked wonderfully well up to now. The Aussie bastards are so cock sure that they are now predicting a five nil white wash as did Botham about us prior to the start of day one.
My problem is I'm not sure what David , sorry sir David wants us to do, and I am hopeless at making decisions strategic or otherwise, suffice to say we are a little lost without the wise one.....If anyone knows how to contact him please ask him to contact me immediately , otherwise all is lost":embarassed::embarassed:
David Morton
Lifetime Supporter
Calm down .............
Just watch and learn.
Just watch and learn.
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Australia wins the toss and will bat.
Nice warm day for the Poms. Will see them sweating for a different reason for a change.
:thumbsup:
:thumbsup:
David Morton
Lifetime Supporter
Keep the calm. Do not get excited.
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
End of day three, I'm calm.Not excited.
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Day four about to start, beer is chilled, pies and chips are hot, so is the day 37c forecast stay calm and enjoy.
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Four years three Months and twenty five days.
Ian Anderson
Lifetime Supporter
:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:
I watched & learned.
I learned that complacency is a dangerous emotion.
I learned that we underestimated a wounded opposition.
I learned that we need to make changes.
Well done Australia , well played. Grrrrrrrrrrr
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
I learned to have faith, next time I'll take the bet David.
So the boys had a few bad days at the office and now we have to have our noses rubbed in it. Despite them just getting lucky and only having to play one member of our team a very sincere congratulations to the Owstilien side .:furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious::furious:
Bob
Bob
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
I say old chap, cussing is not cricket, two arms two hands etc.
Last edited:
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Australia, Australia
Land of the waratah and … dahlia
If ya land in gaol I’ll bail ya
Australia
Two arms, two hands
Two steely bands
Beneath the Southern Cross I stand
A sprig of wattle in my hand
A product of my native land
A voice within me cries aloud
Australia
You bloody beauty
So up the old red rooster
And more piss!
Land of the waratah and … dahlia
If ya land in gaol I’ll bail ya
Australia
Two arms, two hands
Two steely bands
Beneath the Southern Cross I stand
A sprig of wattle in my hand
A product of my native land
A voice within me cries aloud
Australia
You bloody beauty
So up the old red rooster
And more piss!
Yes Pete,
However the original sums it up:
Well done, Cornstalks! Whipt us
Fair and square,
Was it luck that tript us?
Was it scare?
Kangaroo Land's 'Demon', or our own
Want of 'devil', coolness, nerve, backbone?
:sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:
However the original sums it up:
Well done, Cornstalks! Whipt us
Fair and square,
Was it luck that tript us?
Was it scare?
Kangaroo Land's 'Demon', or our own
Want of 'devil', coolness, nerve, backbone?
:sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:
This morning, on his way after the somewhat upsetting cricket match, an English tourist was driving through the Outback when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a kangaroo.
A few k's further on he came upon a small Outback town, parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer and had a look around the bar and noticed a one legged guy sitting in the corner masturbating without a care in the world.
The English tourist turned to the barman and said: "What sort of country is this?! A few K's down the road there was a guy having sex with a kangaroo and that guy in the corner is masturbating in full view of everyone."
The barman said, "You heartless bastard, he's only got one leg, how do you expect him to catch a kangaroo?"
A few k's further on he came upon a small Outback town, parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer and had a look around the bar and noticed a one legged guy sitting in the corner masturbating without a care in the world.
The English tourist turned to the barman and said: "What sort of country is this?! A few K's down the road there was a guy having sex with a kangaroo and that guy in the corner is masturbating in full view of everyone."
The barman said, "You heartless bastard, he's only got one leg, how do you expect him to catch a kangaroo?"
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Speaking of certain tourists, one notable strategist for the English side noted for his sandbagging techniques , which the English became so good at they couldn't stop and accidently lost the ashes, has been very very quiet since his return from Rio.:santa:
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Breaking news,
Morton to continue his sandbagging strategy.... Despite some reports that Mr. Morton had fled to Rio to avoid criticism of his now well known and some may say failed sandbagging strategy, Mr Morton hit back strongly at critics...
"I only went to Rio because I find more inspiration the more caipirinhas I drink"
He said.
. "There is no doubt in my mind that the sandbag strategy is the way to go, the Orstralians are cock a hoop and haven't stopped celebrating. They are now so confident that they are ripe for defeat". Mr Morton was quoted as saying.
"We will continue our sandbagging for the rest of the series now and England will gloriously win the Ashes back when the colonials try and defend them."
"Now pass the bloody champers and bugga off"
"Rule Britannia".
Morton to continue his sandbagging strategy.... Despite some reports that Mr. Morton had fled to Rio to avoid criticism of his now well known and some may say failed sandbagging strategy, Mr Morton hit back strongly at critics...
"I only went to Rio because I find more inspiration the more caipirinhas I drink"
He said.
. "There is no doubt in my mind that the sandbag strategy is the way to go, the Orstralians are cock a hoop and haven't stopped celebrating. They are now so confident that they are ripe for defeat". Mr Morton was quoted as saying.
"We will continue our sandbagging for the rest of the series now and England will gloriously win the Ashes back when the colonials try and defend them."
"Now pass the bloody champers and bugga off"
"Rule Britannia".
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
So Graeme Swan is taking his bat and ball and going home...well actually he can't find his ball it is hiding somewhere in a stand at the WACA. Australians and I'm sure many Englishmen will have three words for Swan.
Weak as piss.
Weak as piss.
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