Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
They could indeed, they could start trading carbon futures, ashes are a form of carbon after all.:idea:
The Ashes.
- Thread starter David Morton
- Start date
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Q. What do you call an optimist?
A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen.
A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen.
Ian Anderson
Lifetime Supporter
Hm The queen is now awaiting the arrival of the england team so she can welcome them home
Ian Anderson
Lifetime Supporter
I believe these are now floating around in Australia. HRH says she is not amused!
Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube?
A. A laughing stock.
Q What is the height of optimism?
A: English batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What is the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car?
A. Nothing! If you blink you will miss them both.
Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
A.They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies?
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
Q. What's the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director isn't going to lose the ashes.
Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube?
A. A laughing stock.
Q What is the height of optimism?
A: English batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What is the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car?
A. Nothing! If you blink you will miss them both.
Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
A.They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies?
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
Q. What's the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director isn't going to lose the ashes.
Stralians have been very quiet there down under :laugh: No tinnys or prawns on the barbie:laugh:
BBC Sport - Women's Ashes 2014: England retain trophy with Twenty20 win
Bob
BBC Sport - Women's Ashes 2014: England retain trophy with Twenty20 win
Bob
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Ha, jeez Bob talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel for some joy. Sheila's cricket doesn't count and you know it. Hang on maybe you should recruit some of them to replace the girls you have in your blokes side, no one would notice.
I hope you are not being sexist Pete
I would imagine the girls will be rubbing salt in the wounds on their return.:thumbsup:Bob
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Sexist Moi? Of course not, I love women, the fact that I think they should be at home looking after their husbands and kids instead of traipsing around the World trying to play very badly I might add, a mans game, only the very unsophisticated in the paddock would construe as sexist.
We all know it's the Kiwis fault for giving them the vote! Women have been trying to rise above their station ever since.:furious:
We all know it's the Kiwis fault for giving them the vote! Women have been trying to rise above their station ever since.:furious:
Last edited:
David Morton
Lifetime Supporter
Exotic Dancer
Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out,
fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc,
but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club
and takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
Sometimes if the offer is really good,
he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."
Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out,
fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc,
but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club
and takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
Sometimes if the offer is really good,
he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Classic!
Have you orstralians put in a bid for KP yet or was he on the payroll anyway??
Bob
Bob
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Pietersen was England's top scorer during the Ashes series and you lot sack him.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
Ian Anderson
Lifetime Supporter
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
Now hang on chaps I thought this test series was supposed to be against South Africa.
But it feels like we are playing England... The team is full of South Africans...:shocked:.
But it feels like we are playing England... The team is full of South Africans...:shocked:.
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