Jokes anyone? -
- Thread starter p thompson
- Start date
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
That's what I thought , he crashes as much as Mal Doh Nado.
Jim Rosenthal
Supporter
Nope. Stefan Grosjean is a Swiss gentleman who makes his living taking photographs of very pretty young women in a state of complete undress, managing to be both tasteful and erotic at the same time. The pictures are extraordinary- never seen anything like them, and keep in mind I look at people undressed all the time. Most of us look better in clothes. These women look far better without them. Google him, but don't be in a hurry. Hours will go by. Not that it's a waste of time.
flatchat(Chris)
Supporter
Righto lads try this ---
Next time you're in a sexual experience of the very intimate type --try pausing or stop for a minute or so -- and when the "partner" ( to be PC) asks "whats wrong"?
Just reply with --- "I'm Buffering"!
Next time you're in a sexual experience of the very intimate type --try pausing or stop for a minute or so -- and when the "partner" ( to be PC) asks "whats wrong"?
Just reply with --- "I'm Buffering"!
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel.."
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel.."
CURRENCY NEWS FROM CANADA
The Royal Canadian Mint has just announced they are going to remove the polar bear from the 'Toonie' (two dollars) in view of its demise soon with global warming.
In the height of political correctness, they will replace it with two gay deer.
Instead of calling it a "toonie", it will now be called "two fucking bucks"
The Royal Canadian Mint has just announced they are going to remove the polar bear from the 'Toonie' (two dollars) in view of its demise soon with global warming.
In the height of political correctness, they will replace it with two gay deer.
Instead of calling it a "toonie", it will now be called "two fucking bucks"
Ian Anderson
Lifetime Supporter
Charlie Farley
Supporter
It would help if she wasn't talking like she's on meth ampthetamine and spoke English....
We flew S.W. once and had a flight attendant do a very similar shtick!
F-U-N-N-Y! I was on the floor in a nanosecond!
'Beats the stuffings out of the usual diatribe we've all heard a thousand times...
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
I could not understand a word either.
Jim Rosenthal
Supporter
The only airline with a sense of humor.
Pete I think it is your slow hearing issue. The accent was very clean. If she were from the southern US she would have talked slower. Maybe one of those 'you had to be there' things.
Jim Rosenthal
Supporter
I could understand her fairly well. But not the Brits in the video a few weeks ago. This reinforces the idea that America and England are two countries separated by a common language.
So a guy went sky diving for the first time, completed ground school and all was good. Ready for his first jump he got to the side of the plane and at 2000' let go and fell into the sky. He rattled off the dummy count in his head and on "3 one thousand" pulled his main rip cord and nothing happened...finally remembering his training he pulled the backup rip cord and again nothing. Now pulling and beating on his parachute compartment he starts praying to God, his god and all of the others, nothing is helping. The ground is arriving at an unreasonable rate and he's transfixed by it, staring as it gets closer. Then he sees something in the distance and as he looks it gets closer and closer until he can see that it's a man flying up from The earth as fast as he's falling. "What the hell" he tells himself, and as they approach he cups his hands and yells "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PARACHUTES?", the other man cups his hands and yells back "SORRY NO, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIGH PRESSURE FUELING SYSTEMS ON A LS7?"
David Morton
Lifetime Supporter
A woman was standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
A homeless drunk stopped and mumbled,
"If you're about to kill yourself, how about a shag before you go?"
The woman was angry and said,
"No! Sod off you filthy old bastard."
The tramp turned to leave and said,
"No problems, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."
"No problems, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."
Don't tell my wife I posted this! :stunned:
Why White?
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" wedding dresses The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "son, all household appliances are white".....
Why White?
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" wedding dresses The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "son, all household appliances are white".....
Good on ya! :thumbsup: