The Italian Lover and the Blonde
A virile, young Italian gentleman was relaxing at his favourite
bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde.
Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his
apartment, and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom
and made love. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile,
"So...you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned and admitted,
"No."
Surprised, the young man reached for her and the love making
resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams
of passion. The lovemaking ends, and again, the young man smiles,
and again he asks, "You finish?"
And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles
closer to him, and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but danged if this woman is going to outlast him, the
young man reaches for the woman again. Using the last of his strength, he
barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming,
bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. The exhausted man
falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks
into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, she whispers in his ear, "No! I'm
Norwegian."
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!
THERE'S MORE.....
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotchooting..... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!
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