The Vth Test. The finale. The Showdown.

[Malcolm]

"Pete - I could go on gloating all day. In fact every time I've got out of my chair to try and do something , like open another beer, visit the toilet, strech my legs - something gets worse for the Aussies."

David, for once, gloat away, if that is what it takes (no offence pointed at Pete). We used this tactic when England footie team beat Germany 5 - 1. Every time I asked the mother in law for a cup of tea and she left the room, we scored. A three way benefit to me, England scored, mother in law left the room and I got a cup of tea, brilliant!

 

[Malcolm]

Crikey, David, did you stop getting out of your chair? Must have had too many beers and fell asleep....

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Well I just woke up and saw the score so gloat away lads you deserve to!
Well Mr Cock a Hoop is it going to rain? I fear that is all will save us....:furious::furious::embarassed::embarassed::cry::cry:

Then again hope springs eternal maybe our lot will go through the rest of the Englishmen like a dose of salts and leave us a target of 350 360?:thumbsup:
But then we only made 160 in the first,,,,:cry:

 

[David Morton]

The only rain at the moment is in Scotland. It's a new day with a fairly new ball and a pitch which will really suit the Spin and Swing bowlers but does Australia know how to sort this out? So far they have been sandbagging and dragging their heels ( at least I hope they have as no team could be that disastrous in the first innings of a final Ashes Test).
You realise that they will be last to bat off a pitch that - by then - will be like a disaster zone. Strauss and his merry men will be making sure off that today.

Sorry Pete, No rain.................unless a miracle happens.

 

[David Morton]

A small(ish) shower just passing the Woking area now and en route for Southern London at 1230 hours. Will

 

[David Morton]

Well Pete - whats happening now? I honestly thought they (Australia) had capitulated but it seems they are starting to wake up and smell the pimms.
A spirited last session and some really enjoyable batting.
Of course - it might not last..........

 

[Gill]

That last session has hopefully reminded England that they havent won yet.

It is going to be a good day tomorrow!

 

[Dalton Veitch]

It would be good to receive some surprises in the remainder of the test. We don't want rain, just some outstanding performances. Perhaps if 20 million people all cross their fingers?

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Only a mere 546 runs to get, I don't know why you English chaps can't seem to give us a real challenge!:shocked:
Dalton fingers toes and prayers are all needed I think.
David do you prefer Krug or Pol Roger?

The F1 race tonight should be good.

 

[Anthony]

I heard this on Test Match Special yesterday. Friends of 'Blowers' THE commentator walked into an un-named bookmakers and asked what the odds were for Siddle to be leading wicket taker, not a difficult request.....

The lady behind the counter thought they said leading batsman and quoted 100/1, they stiffled their surprise and took the bet and the slip says 'Siddle, leading wicket taker 100/1'!!!!!! how lucky is that and at time he was the leading taker,

they stand to collect £19,000

I hope Boycott and Blowers are in the commentary box today, missed them yesterday, we seemed out-numbered by the Aussies talking about anything but the cricket (Tri-nations mainly in the morning, which they lost by a point in the dying seconds, so they stopped talking about that as well)

So another day in the garage working on the car with the TMS playing over the interweb, its a hardlife!!!!

 

[Gill]

I often wish the Aussies would roll over and make it easy......... !

(Not really because this is Test match cricket at its best)

 

[David Morton]

epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:: Yes

 

[Gill]

Joins in

epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper:epper::

 

[David Morton]

Peter,
I've got a bottle of Krug in my cooler but I'll go for a bottle of Jany Poret Premier Cru - in fact I already started drinking it when Harmison started bowling.
What a really sweet victory after previous debacles.
It looks as though there is a successor to Flintoff already but I think we will miss his
aggression and his Alpha antics.
Great day and really great guys in the teams on both sides.

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Well congratulations a comprehensive flogging of the Aussies. Enjoy the champers lads.
What a day....We lose the Bledislow cup by 1 point to the Kiwis and get flogged by England, and Webber comes nowhere!

P.S. Already the tabloid press are calling for Pontings head. Wankers!

 

[Doug Clark]

 

[David Morton]

England celebrate Ashes victory



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<!-- CAPTION TEXT OF IMAGE -->England celebrate winning the Ashes after a dramatic day of cricket at the Oval.

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England's cricket heroes are likely to be waking with sore heads after a night spent celebrating their Ashes victory over Australia.
The Queen led tributes after England emphatically swept aside Australia to regain the historic urn.
Inspired by the mercurial Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff, appearing in his last Test, England secured a 197-run win over Australia to claim cricket's biggest prize.
The victory sparked joyous scenes across the country which lived long into the night as the tension from the nail-biting five-match series was finally released.
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: "The Queen congratulates the England team on their victory in the Ashes, and extends her good wishes to both teams on their excellent performances over the course of the series." The Prime Minister will also write to the England team congratulating them on their win.
The title has been Australia's since they demolished England 5-0 in 2006-07 but at the Oval in London gave England a 2-1 series win.
Flintoff, as so often, made the telling contribution that turned the game in England's favour. His brilliant run out dismissed Aussie captain and dangerman Ricky Ponting after stubborn resistance from the tourists.
The England bowlers then proceeded to tear into the remaining batsman with victory secured as Graeme Swann dismissed Mike Hussey to claim the historic urn.
England players doused each other in champagne as their captain and man of the series Andrew Strauss lifted the tiny Ashes trophy - a replica of the real urn - aloft to the delight of the capacity crowd.
Fireworks were sent thundering into the sky in a repeat of scenes from four years ago at the same ground when England won the Ashes for the first time since the 1980s.

 

[Dalton Veitch]

OK, David. Have a drink on me! You won that one.

Dalton

 

[Pete McCluskey.]

Right. I hope all you Pommies have shocking hangovers from your celebrations. Now the next Ashes series is in 18 Months in OZ. I am sure
some of you will take the opportunity to visit Down Under.

David there is a bed for you at Chez' Mccluskey and I am a member of the Brisbane Cricket Ground trust so you will have tickets for the Gabba Test.

No doubt some of you will be visiting our night clubs with the express intention of shagging some of our bronzed Aussie Sheilas.:thumbsup:
To help in that endeavour you need to know the local slang. For instance if a Sheila asks "would you like to play the double Bass" she is not asking you to a musical evening.
Being of magnanimous nature and Humble in defeat I have set out below some Aussie slang that will help you understand.
Pommie Bastard= You.

Aussie Slang To Educate You Pommie Bastards.......


<HR style="COLOR: #858585; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #858585" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->AEROPLANE BLONDE One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has black box.

AUSSIE KISS Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under

BADLY PACKED KEBAB A vulgar (but excellent) term for female genitalia.

A BEAVER LEAVER A homosexual.

A BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live. how you got there, or where you came from.

BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch

BOILER SUIT The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus afore-thought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.

BONE OF CONTENTION A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic Beach Volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

BREAKING THE SEAL Your first piss in the pub, usually after two hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder repeat visits to the toilet will be required every ten or fifteen minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS Modern slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney Spears please Raylene."

BRUCE LEE Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip)

BUDGIES TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN BOAT or, TONGUE PUNCH BAG The female erection.

BUNNY BOILER An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction" e.g. "I don't like the look of that aeroplane blonde, could be a bunny boiler."

DOUBLE BASS A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, fiddles with her nipples with one hand and her Budgies Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

DRINK - LINK A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM) Named so because it is common to visit before going out on the booze.

ETCH-A-SKETCH Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling her nipples simultaneously.

FLOGGING ON Surfing the internet for some left handed websites.

FREE THE TADPOLES Liberate the residents of the ball bag.

FRIGMAROLE Unnecessarily time consuming foreplay.

GOING FOR A McShite. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShite it With Lies.

GREYHOUND A very short skirt only an inch from the hare .

Good Luck:thumbsup:
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[David Morton]

I'll be there. I fancy doing the WACA as well with a bit of a walkabout in between.
Well, a visit to a few vinyards and bars at least.........