Spike Milligan
All ask is the chance to prove that money won't make me happy.
On his grave stone ...
I told you I was ill.
On money...
Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.
Maurice Baring
If you would know what God thinks of money you only have to look at those to whom he gives it
Gerald Brennan
Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.
Emo Philips
Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Peter Cook
I go to the theatre to be entertained. I don't want to see rape, sodomy, incest and drug addiction. I can get all of that at home.
Oscar Wilde
Of course America had been discovered before Columbus but it had always been hushed up.
I think that God in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
Jo Brand
If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why did
God make them out of meat?
Jerry Sienfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Rod Stewart
Instead of getting married again, I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Cheers
Mike