1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn't have to
leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country,
but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if
there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose
all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders
are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to
be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course,
that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
12. The Tampa Bay Times is read by people who have recently caught a
fish and need something to wrap it in.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn't have to
leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country,
but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if
there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose
all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders
are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to
be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course,
that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
12. The Tampa Bay Times is read by people who have recently caught a
fish and need something to wrap it in.
