I sent it to several people I know and the main comment is "A weak attempt at vulgarity".
The one from Colonel Mustard aka Keith has a slightly funny line in it but nowhere near his usual sort of wit. He may be off colour at the moment.
Good to see this thread still thriving.... long may it continue....
Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate,painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of
unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her
passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!
After a few minutes the therapist stepped away, Eileen buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.
The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you do this?'
Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.
> Ya never really know what's "down under"
> A very nice, innocent woman wants to get married,
> but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex
> with another woman.
> After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to
> take out a personal ad.
> She ends up corresponding with Scotty who has lived his entire life in
> the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. She is
> very happy with him, and she feels that they are perfect for each
> other. So, they end up getting married.
> On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the
> evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband
> standing in the middle of the room, naked. All the furniture from the
> room is piled in one corner.
> "What happened?" she asks.
> "I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a
> I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"