Jokes anyone? -
- Thread starter p thompson
- Start date
David Morton
Lifetime Supporter
:embarassed:
Just for you David...
AS I GROW OLDER
Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life. I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
Drive By….Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!!!
The Agony of Aging….On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his ***** with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
Video Scam….Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute…Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ass, she replied, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart!
AS I GROW OLDER
Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life. I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
Drive By….Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!!!
The Agony of Aging….On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his ***** with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
Video Scam….Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute…Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ass, she replied, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart!
An English tourist was driving through Scotland when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a sheep.
A few kilometers further on he came upon a small town, so he parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer, sat at a table, and then took a look around the bar. He immediately noticed a one legged guy sitting over at a corner table, masturbating without a care in the world.
The English tourist turned to the bartender and said, "what sort of country is this? A few kilometers back down the road there was this
guy having sex with a sheep, and now that guy in the corner is furiously masturbating in full view of everyone."
The bartender said, "You heartless English bastard. He's only got one leg. How do you expect him to catch a sheep?"
A few kilometers further on he came upon a small town, so he parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer, sat at a table, and then took a look around the bar. He immediately noticed a one legged guy sitting over at a corner table, masturbating without a care in the world.
The English tourist turned to the bartender and said, "what sort of country is this? A few kilometers back down the road there was this
guy having sex with a sheep, and now that guy in the corner is furiously masturbating in full view of everyone."
The bartender said, "You heartless English bastard. He's only got one leg. How do you expect him to catch a sheep?"
A distressed but attractive woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get up the nerve to jump.
A passing hobo stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
The woman said "Get away from me you sicko!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered, "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."
A passing hobo stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
The woman said "Get away from me you sicko!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered, "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."
A suicide bomber died and went to Paradise, as foretold. When he arrived there he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his 72 virgins, as promised. Out of curiosity he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.
Allah looked at him for a moment, and then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because people like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So, you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous and frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty. I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail.
The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”
Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?"
Allah looked at him for a moment, and then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because people like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So, you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous and frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty. I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail.
The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”
Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?"
Charlie Farley
Supporter
Can I tell that one in my halal butchers in Manchester ?
Let us know how that turns out...if you're able!
flatchat(Chris)
Supporter
Nigel, "The great Aboriginal Hunter"
Naughty language warning !!
https://www.facebook.com/1716427371910463/videos/1739875906232276/
Naughty language warning !!
https://www.facebook.com/1716427371910463/videos/1739875906232276/
Any Scrabble players out there??
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
9 months later - Unintended consequences.
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
I didn't see that one coming...!
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
I didn't see that one coming...!
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday. So I went to our local pet shop and they were charging $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
I was at an ATM yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a m. Can you believe that...2:30 a m.
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when
She suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has traveled the world, swam with
Sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain.
So it came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat
I was at an ATM yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a m. Can you believe that...2:30 a m.
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when
She suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has traveled the world, swam with
Sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain.
So it came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat
Pete McCluskey.
Lifetime Supporter
A case of much ingenuity getting well rewarded!
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my
God.’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my
God.’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
'Twist on an old "blonde" joke:
A man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going overseas on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the man hands over the keys of his Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a $350,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the GT into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The man replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
A man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going overseas on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the man hands over the keys of his Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a $350,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the GT into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The man replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
In the spirit of the season:
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was
to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God
with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see
what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which
was all the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends
over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy
food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only
hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up
with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had
collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the
woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking
of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
Love,
Edna
P.S. By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was
to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God
with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see
what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which
was all the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends
over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy
food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only
hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up
with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had
collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the
woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking
of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
Love,
Edna
P.S. By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office
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A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Babe, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes Dealers and saw the latest models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£70,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the bells and whistles. Leather seats etc ."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...
I was just talking to Margaret and found out that the house I wanted to buy last year is back on the market. They're asking £980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000.
They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
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Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Babe, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes Dealers and saw the latest models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£70,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the bells and whistles. Leather seats etc ."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...
I was just talking to Margaret and found out that the house I wanted to buy last year is back on the market. They're asking £980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000.
They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
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Nice one Keith, true story with a tenuous link.
Colleague at work (we will call him Bill to protect the innocent) sat on the toilet going about his business when someone comes into the washroom.
Stranger "Hi"
Bill bit taken aback " Err Hi"
Stranger " How Are things? "
Bill getting slightly worried but doesn't want to be rude " Can't complain how are things with you "
Stranger " What are you up to these day's? "
Bill getting really nervous " Well I'm working on a new project not going too bad but a bit hectic "
Stranger " I'll phone you back some bloody idiot in here thinks I am talking to him and keeps answering all my questions "
Colleague at work (we will call him Bill to protect the innocent) sat on the toilet going about his business when someone comes into the washroom.
Stranger "Hi"
Bill bit taken aback " Err Hi"
Stranger " How Are things? "
Bill getting slightly worried but doesn't want to be rude " Can't complain how are things with you "
Stranger " What are you up to these day's? "
Bill getting really nervous " Well I'm working on a new project not going too bad but a bit hectic "
Stranger " I'll phone you back some bloody idiot in here thinks I am talking to him and keeps answering all my questions "
Me too!!!
(On top of that, she cooks Christmas dinner for 12..................solo!)
