Yesterday I was at Woolies buying a large bag of Pedigree dog food for
my loyal Staffie and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I had little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Pedigree Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 14 kg before I woke up in
intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified,
she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.
So I told her "Geez, no, I was sitting in the road minding my own business, licking my balls and a car hit me
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Woolies.
></o
